Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 19.pdf/91

 THE GREEN BAG

72

It was a case appealed from the* Probate Court, pending eleven years, which was called for trial, two lawyers on behalf of the execu tor and three lawyers on the other side. Some one speaking about age, I took the ages of each one, also their weights, as follows:

J. H. H.. W. S. K.. J. S. G.. H. J. C.. Myself. .

Years. 69 75 78 69 66

Weight in Pounds. 196 240 155 235 170

996 Total 357 re age and weight: 7 13 IQ9* The executor, also a lawyer, was not present in court but his age is 82 years, making an average age for the six lawyers concerned 73^ years. —■ An Epitaph. — " Stern death has cast into abeyance here A most renowned conveyancer; Then lightly on his head be laid The sod that he so oft conveyed. In certain faith and hope he sure is, His soul, like a scintilla juris, In nubibus expectant lies, To raise a freehold in the skies." Smell Paid for in Sound. — Jean Libau was an old French cook who in his wanderings stumbled upon a prosperous Maine town, and decided to set up business in an old roadhouse which had been vacant for several months. The Frenchman met with marked success; but, being of a rather miserly disposition, he was much annoyed by a very eccentric and also saving neighbor who lived about a mile away. This man had formed a habit of com ing down twice a day to catch the spicy and wholesome odors wafted from Jean's kitchen, and for many months he claimed they kept him thriving and hearty.

This bothered Jean greatly, and he brought the matter before the court. When the case came up for trial, the judge inquired of the defendant the amount of cash he had on his person, and on receiving the reply, " A half, a quarter, and a dime," requested that it be handed over to him. After jingling the coin loudly in his hand for a moment, his honor asked the plaintiff whether, in his opinion, he had received justice, and the cook answered that he had not. "Well," said the judge, " he smelled your dinner, and you've heard the chink of his money, and that is the nearest I can come to what is popularly known as the square deal in this case." — Boston Herald. Perfect Legal Proof. — " John, I've lost our marriage certificate." "Oh, never mind; any of those receipted millinery bills will prove the ceremony." — Judy. The Other Way Round. — In a trolley accident in New England an Irishman was badly hurt. The next day a lawyer called on him and asked if he intended to sue the com pany for damages. "Damages?" said Pat, looking feebly over his bandages. " Sure, I have thim already. I'd loike to sue the railway for repairs, sor, av ye'll take the case." — Youth's Companion. All of the Truth, at Least. — Fifty years ago there lived in Woodstock, N. H, a man by the name of Thomas Booise (or Boise), who was noted for his ready wit. At one time he was called as a witness on a case in court in Plymouth, N. H. After the lawyers had fired all sorts of questions at him without getting much satisfaction, the judge took him in hand. "Mr. Booise," said the judge, " have you told the whole truth in this matter?" "Yes, sir; yes, sir, I have, and I guess just a little mite more." — Boston Herald.