Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 19.pdf/482

 * THE LIGHTER SIDE Criminal. A person without sufficient means to employ expensive lawyers. Bond, An obligation promising more liti gation after the first is ended if it ever is. Injunction. An effective gag for throttling free speech. Also, the means whereby judges demonstrate that however it may be with other people they are above the Law and Constitution. Also, as in contempt, the where by a judge makes a jury of himself as well. Sheriff. The tenth point of the law who knocks the spots out of the other nine. Also, an officer of the law who appropriates what the lawyers leave available. Judgment. A nice reading document which tells you you are entitled to money you can't usually collect. Also, a joke on a client. Law. An instrument of Justice used to cut her head off. Also, the science of making simple things complex. — Henry Waldorf Francis. "Misunderstood." — In a recent divorce case in England Mr. Justice Deane discoursed on the ethics of friendship between women and men. He had never heard that a married man was not to have an affection for any woman but his wife. " If it were an innocent affection, not diminishing his love for the wife herself, it could not be classed as ' cruelty ' in a suit for divorce. *' This is a high and philosophic view; but, as a reporter of the case remarked: "There are certainly wives who cannot rise to its impartial note." A 444-Year Lawsuit. — In the two villages of Luceran and Lancoque, in the AlpesMaritimes, France, June 10 was kept as a public holiday to celebrate the end of a great lawsuit which had kept the two villages divided since Nov. 14, 1462. The question of dispute was the possession of a piece of land at Lova, which each village claimed. A few days ago the court at Nice definitely settled the matter by dividing the land equally between the villages. The total cost of this lawsuit during the 444 years amounts to £30,000, while the value of the land in dispute was about £400. The law papers which had accumulated were docketed in 1,856 parcels, which weighed sixteen tons, and were stored in a large, dis used church.

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Nothing for Lawyer Folks to Fight About. I'm jes' a'keepin' even; which is doin' purty good. Haven't made the fortune that I used to hope I would; Haven't caused the trump of fame o'er distant hills to sound, But kin alius face the music when the land lord comes around. I've had my share of sunshine an' I seen the flowers smile, Have had the rheumatiz, but only fur a little while, An' when I come to quit this scene of hope an' likewise doubt, I'll hardly leave enough fur lawyer folks to fight about. I have had my disappointments an' I've had my silent fears, But I reckon that the laughs will easy balance all the tears; It ain't a brilliant record, but I want it under stood That I'm still a'keepin' even, which is doin' purty good. —Washington Star. His Hope for Revenge. — Judge (to barber sentenced to death). — "If you have a last request, the court will be glad to grant it." Barber. — "I should like to shave the prose cuting attorney." Legal Philology. — The following extract from the North Carolina Reports gives an interesting" commentary on the origin and growth of legal terminology. In June, 1826, Justice Henderson of the North Carolina Supreme Court in defining the word "heirs" said: "All those appointed to take under the Statute of Distributions, are embraced, the law speaks and designates the heirs. Unless this expression is tolerated and permitted to bear this meaning we shall be totally unable to express the idea without using a phrase instead of a term; for I know of no other term which will convey the idea. Distributee is sometimes used, but scarcely ever without an apology for it; a term of our own coinage, which is not to be found in Johnson's Dictionary, in Jacobs' Law Diction ary, or in any other that I know of. I do not recollect to have seen it, in any English work of