Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 19.pdf/354

 THE LIGHTER SIDE Text from the Wrong Side. — A Boston lawyer who was recently asked to talk to the boys of a business school prefaced his address by a few extemporaneous remarks. "My young friends," he said, "as I approached the entrance to this room I noticed on the panel of the door a word eminently appropriate to an institution of this kind. It expresses the one thing most useful to the average man when he steps into the arena of life. It was "Pull!" shouted the boys with a roar of laughter, while the horrified lawyer recog nized that he had taken his text from the wrong side of the door. — Boston Herald. Mistrusted. — "I used to know Mr. Sneeker, who was with your firm. I understand he is a tried and trusted employee " "He was trusted, yes, and he'll be tried, too, if we're so fortunate as to catch him." — Phila delphia Press. Divorce. — Abraham Leakin, a New York tailor, brought action in July for divorce from his wife, Dvosi, alleging that " she " is a man. They had been married eleven years. A Long Island man, whose wife had decided to establish residence in Sioux Falls that she might divorce him, traveled west with her, as she was unaccustomed to going about alone, and didn't like to, anyway. A Manchester (Eng.), mechanic applied for separation from his wife on the ground of her "goodness." " She puts in so much time ' prayin' for me," said he, " that she has no time for housework, an' I have to do the cookin'." Heard Accepted the Authority. — The late Frank F. Heard, for many years a prominent member of the Boston Bar, was the author of a work on law which was much used and quoted by lawyers. He was once trying a case, the opposing lawyer being Gustavus Somerby. Mr. Somerby made his argument, when Heard suddenly said: " That is wrong. What is your authority?" "F. F. Heard, page —," replied Somerby. "Oh, well," said Heard, " if Heard says so it is so." And the case proceeded, with much amusement on the part of the spectators. — Boston Herald.

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All a Matter of Doubt, Anyway. — A young man from the South who, a few years ago, was so fortunate as to be enabled to enter the law offices of a well-known New York firm, was first entrusted with a very simple case. He was asked by the late James C. Carter, then a member of the firm, to give an opinion in writing. When this was submitted, it was observed by Mr. Carter that, with the touch ing confidence of a neophyte, the young South erner had begun with the expression, " I am clearly of opinion." Whe"h this caught his eye, he smiled, and said : "My dear young friend, never state that you are clearly of opinion on a law point. The most you can hope to discover is the prepon derance of the doubt." — Success. The Verdict. — Judge: " What is the verdict of the jury?" Foreman of the jury : " Your honor, the jury are all of one mind — temporarily insane!" — Lippincott's. Friends. — Case on trial before justice of the peace in Texas. A lawyer suggested that he would like to be heard as Amicus Curiae. Justice, "And pray what is that?" "Friend of the Court." Justice, with great dignity. " I will have it understood that this court has no friends." Garnishment. — A prominent attorney of the Galveston Bar used to tell this on himself as too good to keep. He represented a judg ment for $800 and had failed to find any property of defendant. A curbstone broker came into the office and said he knew of the judgment and if paid ten per cent on it for the information, would show where the money could be reached. This was agreed to, payment when information accepted as satisfactory. Said the broker, " The debtor has placed in my hands for sale bonds for more than amount of judgment, and I have sold but not delivered the bonds, and if you get out a garnishment against me will have the money before writ is served on me." The ten per cent was paid, writ served, and broker was sent for and it was suggested that he pay the money into court. He replied, " There is but one difficulty, as soon as the writ was served, I had use for the