Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/620

 THE LIGHTER SIDE thousand canals, crossing the country in every way, from east to west and from north to south, so that the seas of the north were con nected with the seas of the south. In kanoos the people traveled, and carried the produc tions of the land in every way." We are of the opinion that a proper cause of action was not set out in the declaration, and that there was no evidence to sustain the verdict of the jury awarding the plaintiff $1,500; that the refusal of the trial udge to set aside the verdict was error; and therefore the judgment of the district court should be reversed. Poetic Justice. — This complaint was pre pared in one of the first cases against the New York City Subway, in the municipal court. The plaintiff objected to having it served, fearing it was not sufficient. However, the person who framed it claims it states a com plete cause of action, being a "plain statement of facts" under New York Code of Civil Pro cedure. And now comes Albert Nanies, And to this court complains, Through Rapid Transit negligence, He suffered loss and pains. 'Twas the 6th of March of this year -That the incident occurred Where he sustained the damages, Which to this court's deferred. And first the plaintiff further shows, This rich defendant hath the power, Under the New York Corporate Law, To run cars through the subway bore. The plaintiff was no trespasser, As he had good right to do, When he descended in the earth Through the subway bore to go. As any other passenger, Being properly therein, He was entitled to his ride Through the tunnel dark and dim. He then approached the portal Where a ticket he procured, And duly paid his nickel Which safe passage him assured.

The chopping box he then approached, And on his oath doth say, Therein he did the ticket drop, Full fare for transport pay. A colored porter was in charge, He did not see the act, But a witness saw it, standing near, Who will verify the fact. The plaintiff hastening to the cars, The porter made him halt, Insisting that he had not paid, And on him made assault. The plaintiff then indignant grew Demanding that he should refrain, The coon insisting he must buy Another ticket for the train. So under protest he complied, Another ticket bought and dropped Into the box, the only way From being any longer stopped. So now this plaintiff shows the court That he's neither knave nor thief, But wants Two Hundred Dollars Cash, As damages for his relief. The Retort Courteous. — Curran was once arguing in Chancery before Lord Clare, who was seated on the bench caressing a New foundland dog, and apparently ignoring Curran's presence. At last Curran stopped speaking. The judge said: " Go on, Mr. Curran." Curran replied: " I beg a thousand pardons; I thought your Lordship was employed in consultation." —! A small colored boy was arraigned forsome trivial offense, and after all had been heard the judge suggested to the grandfather, with whom the boy lived, that perhaps a little more careful oversight might be beneficial, where upon the grandfather, who was an extremely respectable African, very tall and of great dignity, looked down on the judge in a pitying manner, but with the utmost respect, said : "Well, judge, how do you suppose you would feel if you was the parent of a little damned nigger young one?"