Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/516

 THE LIGHTER SIDE

483

THE LIGHTER SIDE Indeed! — The following insult received by the editor in his private capacity was promptly rejected as fatally defective for want of proper release of dower. The care less scrivener has offered to remedy the defect by having the said wives present for personal livery of seisin. The grantees as confirmed bachelors have been somewhat puzzled as to the appropriate reply. Know all Men [and Aunt Susan] by these Presentiments, That we, the underdone, Len nox Hubbardsquash Lindsay of Concord Grape in the County of Malesex, farmer, and William L'ambert Barnard of Hang'em-over-the-Bay, on a count o' yer Plymouth Gin, mariner, boat in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, being of sound mind and dispossessing memory and in consideration of five dollars to us to be paid by William H ! Vincent of Winthrop-onloop in the County of Moran, runner, and Susan Receiver Wrightington late of Full River in the County of Bristle, spinster, both of the Commonwealth allfoursaid, the receipt whereof will be duly acknowledged, do hereby give, Grant a bargain sale and congame unto the said Vincent and Wrightington the follow ing described promises, to wit, viz, vide licet, all our right, title, and interest in and to an undivided one-half (J ) interest in an uncertain tennis court, with the privilege of passing and repassing around the net at the end of each set in order to continue trying to beat us. This indeed is given to correct a mistake in a former deed done by us to the gruntees afore said, whereby they acquired the idea that they could claim a tennis victory by, through, or under us, and realizing that they have from thence until now been afraid to play against us again for a gain. Therefore, we waive our prescriptions and grant them the right to tres pass on our clothes if they dare to play us. To have and Tu'o Holes to the said crawlees, their airs and assigns disjointly and not dischivalry to their own use and behave forever or longer with all the rites and protuberances thereto belonging. And we do hereby for ourselves and our hairs, executioners, and administers covenant with said gruntees and their hairs and designs

that we are lawfully seized with the desire to lick the stuffing out of them, that there are no unsurmountable difficulties in the way, and that we have the right and sufficient ability to do the same as we have before; and that we will and our hairs, executioners, and admissions shall warrant to clean up the ground with said gruntees and their hairs and designs forever and any time in spite of the entreaties and prayers of all persons. In witness whereof the said Lennox H. Lindsay and William L. Barnard, being both married and proud of it hereunder set their welcome soap and sealskin coats this skidoo day of May (the Lord help Vincent and Wrightington) in the year nineteen six — 23. LENNOX H. LINDSAY. WILLIAM LAMBERT BARNARD. Commonwealth of Massachusetts. MORAN, ss. May 23, 1906.

Then personally appeared the above named Lennox H. Lindsay and William L. Barnard to me known and known to me to be able to make good and acknowledged Vincent and Wright ington to be their free act and dead. Before me Harold W. Mason. Not any public. One Good Ear was Enough. — Judge Wil bur, who retired from the Rhode Island bench last June, when the new court and practice act went into effect, had for many years previous handled the criminal business of the state. He was perfectly familiar with the wiles and excuses of men who sought to evade jury duty, and showed them little con sideration. A venire-man gave as his reason for desir ing to get out of grand jury service physical disability. "What is the nature of your infirmity?" asked the judge. "I am deaf in one ear, your honor," replied the man. "You'll do," said the judge. " Don't you know you only have to hear one side of a ca'se in the grand jury room?"