Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/465

 434

THE GREEN BAG

Sheepskin v. Lion Skin. — A lawyer and a lay friend were discussing a certain local poli tician who, by grace of his diploma, was also a lawyer; the lawyer expressed an opinion not altogether flattering, saying among other things that " he found no good in him save that he was a slick politician." "However that may be," said the friend, "he must be a bright fellow; he has the sheep skin of a lawyer." "Not at all, not at all," said the lawyer; "his sheepskin has no more changed his brains, than the lion's skin of /Esop's fables changed the brays of that other Ass." THE STATE v. LINKHAW. (69 H. C. 214.) By ALBERT W. GAINES "For disturbance of the public worship," So the indictment read, "Against the peace and dignity Of the state," it further said. To which indictment there was filed Defendant's plea, to wit: That said Linkhaw had broke no law, And he should go acquit. The crime so charged was that the accused, Lacking musical education, Sang psalm and hymn with such a vim He disturbed the congregation. That when the choir and others all ('Twas one of the devil's wiles) Had ceased to sing, still Linkhaw's voice Went sounding down the aisles. And it was charged and duly proved, That when Linkhaw elected To sing at all, the people all Were curiously affected. The frivolous folk thought it a joke, And laughed and were quite gay, While the devout were so put out And mad — they could not pray. The parson, it was duly proved, Would not give out the hymn, For fear 'twould draw from Bill Linkhaw The horrid voice of him. The presiding elder, too, 'twas said, Most positively refused To come, for fear that he would hear The voice of the accused.

The defendant proved himself devout, And that, though sinful clay, Himself he found in conscience bound, To sing as well as pray; Moreover, the constitution, Aside from moral qualms, Did guarantee his worship free In singing hymns and psalms. The jury found against the accused, That he, in his devotions, Lest he disturb, must gently curb His musical emotions; That he his worship could maintain, But, like the curfew's ring, Though he could shout and be devout, That Liiikhaw must not sing. But 'twas held by the court of last resort, To which the case then went, That in Linkhaw the judges saw No criminal intent; And that, although the proof did show That Linkhaw's voice was awful, The judges found no valid ground For holding it unlawful. And so in North Carolina now, Regardless of church or creed, The right inalienable to sing Is fully guaranteed; And from the Smokies to the sea, Wherever the church bells chime. The people cling to the right to sing, Without committing a crime. CHATTANOOGA, TENN. An Amateur. — The Chicago drummer who was arrested for assaulting the landlord of a South Dakota hotel found that there -was only one lawyer in the village, and that he had already been retained by the plaintiff. In this emergency he demurred to being tried, as he was not lawyer enough to plead his own case, but the justice of the peace calmly replied : "This court will see that you have all your rights. Anybody seen Jim Peters around here?" "He's outdoors," answered someone. "Then call him in." Jim turned out to be a long and lathy farmer's hired man, and not at all bright

1