Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/464

 THE LIGHTER SIDE logs, and didn't git yer letter within the ten days, -but I came to return it just as soon as I got it." The lawyer broke open the envelope, read the letter, and asked if he was prepared to pay the bill, and was informed that he would be unable to pay it until the berry season opened. " Ike " was so much impressed with the man's willingness to do right that he told him he would wait for him. — Boston Herald. Could Not Make Him Remember. — At a session of the Superior Court held in Worces ter in 1889, the case of Goguen v. Ryan was being tried. Ryan's counsel, James A. Stiles, of Gardner, was examining Dennis J. Morari, a painter and paper hanger of Gardner, later of West Fitchburg. regarding a conver sation he had with Goguen while doing some whitewashing in the house in controversy. Moran had evidently made some state ments regarding this conversation to Stiles or others that it was desired to have him re peat under" oath for the enlightenment of the court and jury. After the preliminary ques tions Stiles asked the witness if he had a con versation with Goguen on a certain date. Moran replied, " Yis, sor." Counsel. — Now, Mr. Moran, will you tell the court and jury what that conversation was? Moran. — I don't know as I justly remimber. Counsel. — We don't expect you to repeat exact words. Moran. — I don't know as I justly remimber. Counsel. — Tell us the substance of it. Moran. — I don't know as I justly remimber. The question was put in several other forms, and elicited the same answer. The judge, thinking to straighten out matters, took a hand in the questioning, and said, " Mr. Moran, you have said you had a conversation with this man Goguen." Moran. — Yis, yer honor. Judge. — Now if you had a conversation with him there must have been something said. Tell us the first thing you remember was said. Moran looked up at the judge with a smile that was " childlike and bland " and replied,

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"Well, yer honor, I don't know as I justly remimber the first thing I do remimber was said." The judge, tired of the proceeding, looked down at Mr. Stiles and said: " Mr. Attorney, if this witness doesn't remember the first thing he does remember was said, its useless to take up the time of the court. Call another wit ness." — Boston Herald. From the Canada Border. — We submit the following petition for a road, made, signed, and delivered to the selectmen in a Maine planta tion next the boundary, not as a precedent to follow, however. It is presumed to mean that the inhabitants were thereby " calling" for the finishing and turnpiking of a certain piece of road, but you can translate it to your own taste. Here it is: "Corner (Connor) Platation," "Dist. No. 4, "Feb. 12, 1906. "The road started from Joseph B. Damboise and Paul Soucie to the other road are call by the habiten to be finish and townparking." Damages. — A good story is told of a 'Frisco claim agent. An old colored aunty boarded a passenger train out of Jonesboro, Ark., with a ticket for a small flag station down the road, riding in the rear coach. The conductor overlooked her destination; and as the train was running through her station, aunty, discovering it, grabbed her bundle, ran to the rear platform and jumped from the train, alighting squarely on her head. Before the train could be stopped and backed to the place of her fall, aunty had reversed her position and hastened away to her cabin. The alert and genial claim agent was noti fied, and at once sought out aunty in order to adjust matters before some rustling lawyer could see her. As he walked into her cabin, he smilingly said: "Aunty, are you much hurt?" " Now, you go long, boss! Dis nigger haint hurt any, but she's powerful 'barrassed," was the reply. "Well, what damages do you want?" was the 'query. "Now, see he'ar, massa," said aunty, " Haint I been damaged "nuff? What yo' want to damage this nigger mo' fur?"