Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/405

 THE GREEN BAG place to put 'em 'ceptin' Cy Tedder's chicken coop — an' Cy's got a scttin' hen on. — Cleve land Plain Dealer. Unpaid Views. — The Hon. Ellery A. Hibbard of Laconia, N. H., a former member of Congress and Supreme Court Justice, was famous for his droll sayings. It was a cus tom among the citizens of his home to ask the judge any legal question that hap pened to interest them, but in many cases they would act upon his advice without revealing the true state of affairs to him or paying him for his services, thinking that the judge would not know of the value of the information to them. During the later years of his practice Judge Hibbard formed the habit of not ex pressing himself as decidedly as formerly, and of closing his conversation with the remark : "That probably is the law, but I don't wish to express myself so strongly that I can't change my opinion if I am paid to do so." This usually brought the customary fee. — Boston Herald. Juvenile Offender. — Scene. — The Cook county juvenile court. Dramatis Persona. — Judge, jurors, state's attorney, one McGreevy (red-headed), Mrs. Casey (probation officer and police matron), spectators and numerous children, the latter especially unwashed. Plot. — An attempt by the state to take away from McGreevy a Hock of children whom he compelled to beg and to live in squalor, while he and his wife lived on the proceeds of the begging and — largely — on alcoholic stimulants. Mrs. Casey, called by the state, takes the stand and is sworn. "Yer Honor, th' jedge, and gintlemin av th' joory, I'm Mrs. Mary Ca-asey, an officer av this coort. "I wint to this mon's house — this ridheaded mon McGreevy, here — an' rapped on th' dure, an' he come to th' dure an' opened it. "' You're Mrs. Ca-asev? ' he savs to me.

"' I am Mrs. Ca-asey,1 I says to him, I says, ' I'm a probation off'cer,' I says, ' av th' joov-nile coort,' I says, ' an' I'll see yer wife,' I says, ' she's in th' room beyant.' ' Ye'll not see my wife,' says he. ' Any talkin',' says he, ' that's done by this fam'ly,' says he, ' 'll be done by me," he says. "' An' thin,' Yer Honor the jedge, an' gintlemin av th' joory, he says to me, this rid-hidded mon McGrecvy says to me, ' Mrs. Ca-asey,' he says, ' you can go to haitch edouble-1,' he says to me, ' an,' he says (im pressively), ' th' coort can go with you,' he says. "' An1 Mrs. Ca-asey,' he says — this ridhidded mon McGreevy a-standin' here says to me, he says — ' Mrs. Ca-asey, you can take away my childer av ye dee-a-m-n plaze,' he says (pause to gather breath), ' fer,' he says, ' I have more a-coming.'" Sensation in court, and finale. Concealed Weapons. — One good legal joke lies buried in the files of New York news papers, whence it seems worth while to resus citate it. Some years ago there was a wide public demand for a legislative investigation into the office of the New York County Dis trict Attorney. A friendly newspaper, how ever, insisted that the head of the office " was armed with his honesty." " If he is," said the New York Sun the next morning, " he is certainly guilty of ' carrying concealed weapons."" Under Oath. — Another pitfall of crossexamination was recently seen in a New York Court. Opposing counsel was endeavoring to show the jury that witness had called upon him, and while in his office had made certain admissions: Q. Did you not say to me, while in my office, that you were directly interested in this lease? A. I did not. Q. (Thundering) Do you mean to tell his Honor and the gentlemen of the jury, then, that I am a liar? A. (Hestitatingly) As I'm under oath, I'm bound to tell the truth. I think you are!