Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/280

 THE LIGHTER SIDE

THE LIGHTER SIDE ECHOES FROM THE BAGGAGE ROOM

By D. W. Locke, in the Ohio Law Bulletin A few days ago I hurried to the Pennsyl vania railway station in the city of Bucyrus, Ohio, to catch train No. 9 going west. It was a cold dreary day, a drizzling rain adding to the discomfort of the weather. Arriving at the depot I found No. 9 marked late, on the time board, and also found the waiting room and most of the depot in the hands of a gang of painters. Looking for some place of warmth I entered the baggage room, where I found a roaring fire in a big old-fashioned coal stove, and gathered around it, quite a crowd, who like myself were waiting for the belated train. I saw at once that they were enjoying themselves, and joining them I found that a couple of attorneys were relating personal ex periences and short anecdotes of their legal brethren, much to the amusement of their listeners. I drew up a box and secured a seat in the circle just as one of them began the following: "You know that I have been court reporter for about twenty years, and if one half the funny things that I have heard had been pre served they would make, I think, a very read able book. For instance, not so very long ago, Bob Gary was trying a case of assault and battery. The complainant had been pretty badly beaten up by her husband, and the con stable, when he went to arrest the man at the family home, near Sycamore, Ohio, found the wife still bleeding from the wounds inflicted by her assailant. Gary was very anxious that the witness should testify as to the con dition in which he found the woman, and after several preliminary questions leading up to the climax, he leaned back in his chair, and said: ' You may now tell the court in what •state you found the woman.' The constable was an Irishman, and promptly came the answer: ' In the state of Ohio, sor.'" After the laugh had subsided, the other attorney said: "That was surely a surprise to Bob, but I'll bet he was not more surprised than Gen eral Finley was some time ago. You know

there is one thing that the General would rather do than anything else, and that is, make a speech at a picnic, and he never misses such an opportunity and, to do the General justice, he always makes a good speech. Well, on the occasion I refer to, the General was engaged in the trial of a case here in Bucyrus, and a witness was an old gentleman by the name of Trimble, popularly known as Uncle Billy Trimble. His evidence had not been very palatable to the General and on cross-examination Finley was trying if pos sible to confuse the old man, and to thus break the force of his testimony. The General, to do this, raised a question of the exact time of the happening of some event; to this the wit ness replied that he ' was not exactly certain as to the date.' Seizing this bit of uncer tainty as a chance to gain his point, the Gen eral began to worry the old man about this date. Uncle Billy was always a very sedate, solemn sort of an old chap, and was very slow in speech. The General said: "' Now, Uncle Billy, let me help you to remember this date. Do you remember the pioneer picnic at McCammeron grove that year? ' ' Well, I think I do remember there was a picnic there that year.1 ' Why, Uncle Billy, weren't you there? ' ' Well, I don't just exactly remember whether I was there or not." ' Now, Uncle Billy, let me refresh your memory; don't you remember that I was there and made a speech at that picnic? ' Very slowly and deliberately Uncle Billy re plied: ' Well, now since you speak about it, I do remember that picnic and that you were there and tried to make a speech." The old gentleman was promptly excused, without any further seeking after the exact date. "The General was not as quick at getting out of the ' hole ' in which the unexpected turn made by the old man put him, as was a lawyer named Tyler who was defending a prisoner once in our court, charged with the shooting of the marshal of Crestline. Tyler had a desperate case, and he left no means untried to break down the evidence against his man. It might be well to say, in passing, that in his day Tyler was one of the best criminal lawyers in Northwestern Ohio. A