Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/138

 THE LIGHTER SIDE

THE LIGHTER SIDE "Tom " Reed and the Little Judge. — In

the days when his brain and body were bigger than his reputation, " Tom " Reed was taken in hand by a friend who sought to make him acquainted with a somewhat noted Maine judge, whose influence, it was hoped, might prove valuable. As a precautionary measure, the struggling young lawyer was warned not to offend the eminent jurist, who was extremely sensitive with regard to his diminutive size. The introduction took place at an auspi cious moment. The judge condescendingly offered his hand, when, from his superior height, Mr. Reed looked straight over the head of the little great man, and, with a comical side glance at his friend, asked blandly: "Where is he?" — Boston Herald. Why Lawyers Multiply. — An attorney sends us a clipping containing the following, which is said to have been written by Richard Peters, the first reporter of the United States Supreme Court, and preserved by John Adams in his diary. It was handed by Peters to Judge Willing in Philadelphia one day in court while the convention of 1774 was in session, in reply to a question which the judge had asked in pleasantry at dinner. "You ask me why lawyers so much are in creased, Though most of the people already are fleeced; The reason, I'm sure, is most strikingly plain — Tho" sheep are oft sheared the wool grows again, And though you may think e'er so odd of the matter, The oftener they're fleeced the wool grows the better. Thus down chin'd boys, as oft I have heard, By frequently shaving obtain a long beard." — Ohio Law Bulletin. The Judge was Puzzled. — The late Judge Stevens of Lawrence was noted for the choice English which he always used, and in spite of his long term on the bench, where all sorts of culprits were brought before him, he never understood the English of the slums.

On one occasion an Irishman was being tried for assault and battery on another Irishman. The plaintiff took the stand and told his story, getting as far as, " He give me a clout on the mouth," when the court in quired: " What did you say he gave you?" "A clout on the mouth, sor," the witness replied. "But," said Judge Stevens, " where did he get the clout? " — Boston Herald. Plenty of Time for Action. — The police magistrate so often admonish women com plainants to come back and report any further wrong-doing on the part of husbands who have been released that they fall into the habit of repeating the admonition on every occasion in which a man and wife are con cerned. The other day a woman told Magis trate Moss that her husband had threatened to kill her. "Very well, madam, if he does, you come back and tell me and I will punish him," re plied the magistrate mechanically. — New York Sun. A Cross Examiner. — If all lawyers and ministers knew when to stop, our trials and our sermons would be shorter. As it is, the ministers can go on too long with impunity, but the lawyers are, now and then, shown their error rather forcibly, as happened in a case on trial the other day in one of our courts. Much evidence had been offered, going back to the original Indian grants, but the real point of the case was the location of a certain boundary line. A former owner was produced by the defendant, who testi fied that he and the adjoining owner had gone out together onto the land, made a careful examination, and had located the line. Cross-examination simply brought the same evidence more emphatically, the last answer being. "We both agreed that this line was cor rect." Then to ram the fact home a little harder, our young friend arose and asked his witness, expecting of course an answer in the negative, — " Was anything else said by you at that time? "