Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 16.pdf/887

 826

IN North Carolina before the adoption of Code pleading, or as they say in the South, "before the war," the pleadings in civil cases were mere memoranda entered on the Court docket. It so happened in Robeson County, that an old maiden lady named Miss Margaret Patterson sued one William Mc Kay in an action of Trover for the conver sion of her slave. The suit was stated on the Court docket as follows: Margaret Patterson v. William McKay. Trespass on the Case—Trover. Defendant's Attorney wrote in verse the following on the docket : Billy McKay, for his satisfaction, Demands of Miss Margaret the cause of her action, And wants to know why in this public place, She has undertaken to sue him in case: Plaintiff's Attorney replied: Miss Margaret replies with a kind of a snigger, Why, Billy, you know you converted my

"'gger, Converted him, not to the God of the sinner, But converted him to Cash—and you're the winner, So, having received and failed to pay over, You're therefore sued in an action of Trover. THE Supreme Judicial Court of Massachu setts, having held that the noise of the ele vated railroad in Boston was an element of damage to abutters, an assistant city solici tor was asked if the decision affected the city in any way. "Well," he replied, "there is a burial ground up on Washington street, on the line of the road, that belongs to the city, but so far I have heard of no com plaints about noise from any of the occu pants.'' THE sudden illness of the minister had made it necessary to call in "Lawyer Brown" to perform the marriage ceremony as a justice of the peace. Brown was very much at home in the court-room, but this work was new to him, and it made him a

trifle nervous. He did pretty well, neverthe less, making up his form of service as he went along, and succeeded in pronouncing the happy pair man and wife without any serious difficulty. Then, it suddenly struck him, that the words at the tip of his tongue, "And whom God hath joined let no man put asunder," and which he had thought of as an impressive ending, would not do for a civil ceremony like this. He was stuck and the pause was getting more than pain ful, when he had an inspiration and used the most impressive formula he could think of, the words of the court crier: ''God save the Commonwealth of Massachusetts." "THERE'S a fellow making love to my wife," explained the indignant client. "Does your wife encourage him?'' asked the lawyer. "She seems to. He takes her riding. sends her flowers, and the other day I saw him kissing her: and she seemed to like it." "You saw him kissing her and she didn't object?" said the lawyer. "Well, we can get you a divorce without any trouble." "Thunder!" said the husband, "1 don't want no divorce. I want an injunction." THE following Southern stories are told in the Saturday Evening Post: Representative John Sharp Williams tells of a negro in Mississippi who had trouble with a bellicose clog belonging to a neigh bor. The darky shot the dog as soon as he discovered that the beast was not friendly. and promptly found himself in a justice's court. "What sort of a gun did you have, Sam?" "A double-barrel shotgun, sah!'' "Don't you think you could have scared the dog off?" "Ya-as, boss," said the negro; "I mighter done dat, only I was so scared myself." "Why didn't you take the other end of the gun and frighten him away?" The darky scratched his head. "Boss," he said, "ef de dawg wanted me to do dat way wif de gun why didn't he come fo' me de other end fust?"