Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 16.pdf/239

 Rh

THE following is a literal transcript of the second clause of a will filed and probated in L. county, Wisconsin, a few years since: "I hereby commit the guardianship of all my children until they shall respectively at tain the age of twenty-one years, unto my said wife, during her life; and from and after her decease unto my much and esteemed ¡riend, his executors and assigns." A RATHER pat saying is applied to a certain lawyer, who, when elevated to the bench, failed to satisfy the expectations of members of the bar, and one of them remarked of him "that he went upon the bench with lit tle opposition from the bar and left it with none. V. SUED S. & F. for raising the waters of O., a meandered lake, so that it overflowed and washed away his land and otherwise in vaded his raparían rights. R., attorney for defendants was, because of limited educa tion, rather uncertain in his use of words, while false teeth, which did not fit, rendered his pronunciation indistinct. He was very indignant over what he called the "frivyla" character of the suit. While the case was on trial an attorney from a neighboring town asked R. what the suit was about. He answered: "It involve' the location of the miranda' line' on O. Lake and right' of the riprarin' ownas. I weesh we c'd dreen the lake as dry as the Dese't of Ohary." AN able, but impractical, lawyer at the Kansas City bar retired from political office not long ago, taking with him the confirmed habit of poker playing in lieu of the excellent law practice lost to him while holding polit ical office. His sense of humor, however, was in no wise dulled thereby. Dropping in, one day, to visit a fellow law yer with little less leisure than himself, he greeted him with the usual question about business affairs. "Poor with me, very poor," was the reply; "and every cent,. in fact, that

I do make in the practice uf law, I lose play ing poker, it seems." "Well, same condition here, old fellow," was the response; "only,—every cent I make playing poker, I lose practising law." WILLIAM H. PARSONS, the lawyer (says the New York Times), tells this story at the expense of members of his own pro fession. A burglar returned empty handed to his pal, who had been watching on the outside for him while he entered a likely looking house. "What did you get, Bill?" the pal asked. "Nothing. It was a lawyer's house," was the reply. "Did you lose anything?" "No. I didn't stay long enough." I ONCE heard a Lord Chancellor tactfully re'ieve the situation, when a learned counsel hat! remained standing silent at the Bar for perhaps ten minutes, while judicial scintilla tions issued continually from the various members of the House, by saying, in the blandest manner, "My Lords, perhaps it would now be well to allow Mr. A. to pro ceed with his argument before us, instead of pursuing our arguments before him!" An absolutely justifiable reply by a Scots counsel was once made in the House of Lords in the days before that House as an appellate tribunal was limited to "high judi cial" persons. The case related'to rights in water. The Scots counsel alluded again and again, in his strong vernacular, to what he called "watter." An English peer inter posed thus: "Tell me, Mr. C, do you in Scotland spell 'water' with two t's?" The admirable answer came back like a flash: "No, my lord. In Scotland we spell 'watter' wi' ae t, but we spell 'mainers' wi' twa n's." L'nder cover of conveying information as to the supposed peculiarities of Scots spelling. Mr. C. delivered a well merited rebuke as to the "mainers" displayed by the English in terrogator.—The Solicitor-General for Scot land in The Juridical Review.