Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 15.pdf/334

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Communications in regard to the contents of the Magazine should be addressed to the Editor, THOS. TILESTON BALDWIN, 1038 Exchange Building, Boston, Mass.

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WHEN John Marshall was Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States he was one day driving with a horse and buggy in Virginia and suddenly discovered that the tire on one of the wheels was slipping off. The distinguished jurist knew more about constitutional law than he did about buggy wheels and loose tires, but he did know that by wetting the rim of the wheel he would cause it to swell and thus tighten the tire. So coming shortly afterward to a little stream, ne drove into it and got a small section of the wheel wet and then drove out and backed in again, of course wetting the same section of the wheel, while the other part of the rim remained dry. While the judge was con sidering the situation and wondering how Tie could get the whole rim wet, an old dark ey came along and seeing his predicament, told him to back in again. This he did and the negro, taking hold of the spokes of the wheel, turned it around, thus wetting the entire rim. Judge Marshall remarked: "'Why, I never thought of that." The "old negro replied: "Well dey is some men dat jus' nat'ly has mo' sense dan odders." MR. JOHNSON : "Ah see dat when Rastus Brown was toried foh stealin' hens, it came out at de trial dat he had de animus furandi." Mr. Walker: "Ah allus tole dat niggah dat he'd ketch some awful disease from livin' jn dat Irish tenement."—The Brief. A BILL of exceptions in a damage case was

filed at the January term of the Macon (Mis souri) Circuit Court. This record embraced a line that reflected seriously on the piety of one of the attorneys for the defendant, and as the lawyer was an elder in the Presbyterian church there was room for comment. When Judge Shelton's eyes struck the exclamatoryphrase they twinkled, but his face was serious as he called Major B. R. Dysart—the alleged originator of it—over to him. "Major." he said, "I have just been read ing this record in the Walsh Construction Company case. I was inexpressibly pained to notice in it some very disrespectful language you used in the presence of the Court." A funeral solemnity would fall short of describing the condition of Dysart's features. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Of course you may have been excited a bit during the trial, Major. I know those other fellows were worrying you like every thing, but that is hardly an excuse for using cuss words. You should have waited until you got them outside. It won't do" "Does your Honor mean to intimate that I swore in your presence while trying a case?" demanded the Major, sternly. "I don't intimate anything. Major, but you just look at that," and he handed the trans cript to Dysart. There nestling in the midst of a long argument over an objection, printed as plain as No. 3 typewriter letters could print it, were the words: "It is a damned obscure injury." It took nearly five minutes for the Major to think out how it happened. Then he grabbed a pen, shoved it into the ink bottle and viciously scratched out the revolutionary sentence, over which he wrote: "It is a damnum absqnc injnria," meaning a damage without an injury.