Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 13.pdf/578

 A Gossip About Fees.

535

A GOSSIP ABOUT FEES. BY GEORGE H. WESTLEY. SOMEWHERE or other an amusing story is related concerning the out witting of Daniel Webster by an unsophisti cated looking old Quaker. The latter was mixed up in a suit down in Rhode Island, and he asked the famous lawyer what he would charge to go there and defend him. Webster thought a moment, and then placed his fee at a thousand dollars. The Quaker all but fainted; but in a moment he recovered himself and said calmly: "Lawyer, that's a great deal of money; but I'll tell you what I'll do. I have other cases there, and if you will attend to them also, I will give you the thousand dollars." Totally unsuspicious of anything like sharp practice on the part of his quiet com panion Webster agreed, off-hand, to do his best, and the deal was closed. When the case came up in Rhode Island the lawyer was on hand, and by his skill and eloquence carried it for his client. The Quaker then went around to several who had cases in court and said: "What will you give me if I get the great Daniel to plead for you? It cost me a thousand dollars for a fee, but now he and I are pretty thick, and as he is on the spot, I'll get him to plead cheap for you." In this way he got three hundred dollars from one, and two hundred from another, and so on, until he had realized eleven hun dred dollars, one hundred dollars more than he had paid. When Webster heard this he went into a towering rage. "What!'' he cried, "do you think I would agree to your letting me out like a horse to hire?" "Friend Daniel," said the Quaker, ''didst thou not undertake to plead all such cases as I should have to give thce? If thou wilt not stand to thy agreement neither will I to mine." The humorous side of the matter suddenly struck the lawyer, and he broke out into

hearty laughter. "Well," said he, "I guess I might as well stand still for you to put the bridle on this time, for you have fairly pinned me up in a corner of the fence, anyhow." So he went to work and pleaded them all. Among the great Sir Walter's writings we find the following couplet: "Yelping terrier, rusty key, Was Walter Scott's first Jeddart fee." Scott's first client was a burglar. He got the fellow off, but the man declared that he hadn't a penny to give him for his services. Two bits of useful information he offered, however, and with these the young lawyer must needs be content. The first was that a yelping terrier inside the house was a better protection against thieves than a big dog outside; and the second, that no sort of a lock bothered one of his craft so much as an eld rusty one. Hence the couplet. Small compensation as this was, the first brief of the noted French lawyer, M. Rouher, yielded still less. The peasant for whom M. Rouher won the case, asked how much he owed him. "Oh! say two francs," said the modest young advocate. "Two francs!" exclaimed the peasant. "That's very high. Won't you let me 'off with a franc and a half?" "No," said the counsel, "two francs or nothing." "Well, then," said his client, "I would rather pay nothing," and with a bow he left M. Rouher to reflect upon rustic simplicity. According to Uriah Heep, "lawyers, sharks and leeches are not easily satisfied." Certainly the French lawyer of the following story bears out the saying. He was pleading in a separation case, and he told with pathetic eloquence how his client was literally dying of hunger and had two little children. He demanded the immediate aid of two thousand francs in the name of humanity and justice,