Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 13.pdf/449

 The Green Bag,

412 NOTES.

ODDITIES in legal papers are of frequent oc currence, but the following verbatim copy of a return has features of its own that are rarely found : — "Executed the within subpoena in Reynolds, Mo., on the day of by going to river. The river was up and couldn't get acrosst. The canoe was on the other side. Sheriff." This return was actually made by the sheriff of Reynolds County on a subptena returnable to the Iron County Circuit Court. THE collector is a personage who knows little about law but much about human nature, and has a good stock of common sense. One of the sharpest collectors in northern Iowa in his prime was one M., who became noted far and wide for his collections. If it was a claim which had been given up by all others he was at his best. He preferred some outlawed account which had been carried on the books as worth less for years and years. He never made any agreement for fees. If he did collect no one complained that they were large, for what little came back to the creditor was looked upon as found-money, indeed. M. had for a long time tried to collect a debt from an Irishman who seemed to know as much about the laws of exemptions as any lawyer, and to have the knack of keeping just as much property as the law allowed and no more. M. held a judgment and had tried on several occasions to levy and sell, but to no avail. One day he dropped in on the Irishman and asked to stop for dinner, hav ing in his buggy a hog, which, he said, he had taken on an execution out in the country. When after dinner, M. was ready to go, he said that he had to drive several miles out into the country, and would leave the hog until his return. He offered to pay for the care of the team and himself, but this the Irishman refused. M. in sisted that he was in debt to him and would give him the hog as a present, if he cared for it. Of course the Irishman accepted this offer gladly; and then the lawyer drove away. Be fore night, however, the sheriff was on the place with an execution; the Irishman was caught napping, and the lawyer took the best hog in the pen, and satisfied the judgment.

A FORMER Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Missouri had been confined for some weeks to his room, suffering from a severe indis position. Having somewhat recovered he ven tured out of his room and walked down to the State library, where he was accosted by the li brarian, at that time Colonel J. W. Zevely, who inquired after his health and received this reply: "William, I am not well; but I am better than I was when I was worse than I now am!" AN anecdote is told of another judge of~that court, which is thought worthy of repetition. One McGregor had been newly elected prose cuting attorney of county. Among his subordinates was a negro deputy constable, black as the proverbial ace of spades, who, but recently appointed, was full of official zeal. A few days after his appointment he came to Mc Gregor with his eyes bulging out and told of his having the night before arrested a man and woman in a room in a certain house, who were found together in very compromising circum stances. Thereupon McGregor informed the zealous official that one act of that nature, stand ing alone, did not make a crime under the laws of Missouri. Then the deputy asked : "Boss, who writ dat law?" And on being told Judge S., and that it was to be found in State v. Chandler, 132 Mo. 155, replied: "Boss, I ain't surprised Jedge S. writ dat law; he ain't home much!" ONE of the local justices of the peace is also an oddity. Among his set of rules governing practice before him is the following : 9. " Please don't ask me to take a drink during business hours. I can't go and I do not want to get into the habit of refusing." THE same justice is carrying the following in the local papers :

Get Married and Stop Your Foolishness! From this date until and including July 4th, 1901, ADV

aud to relieve suHeriug humanity.

H. E. JOHNSON, Justice of the Peace.