Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 13.pdf/176

 Rh il I was walking up the street when I saw the clip fanning a woman. He touched leather, took it, ducked round the corner, and weeded it : and then ran."  Mr. Officer, said the judge, severely, " the court is about to take a recess of ten minutes. When the court returns, you will be good enough to give your testimony in English." This the officer did, explaining that he had seen the thief feeling around for the woman's pocket; that he found it, took her pocket-book, and went around the corner, where he took out the money and threw away the pocket-book; after which he ran. The deputy inspector's unconscious use of slang, in the above anecdote, recalls the follow ing account of an English court proceeding, as told by an exchange. The defendant sued the plaintiff for driving over him. On the plaintiff stating that the defendant was driving at the rate of thirty miles an hour, the following col loquy ensued : DEFENDANT. What are you bloomin' well talking about? I 'm a costermonger, not a Great Eastern express. JUDGE. Couldn 't the horse go the pace? DEFENDANT. Lord, shouldn 't I like to see him! I buy my knackers thirty bob a time! JUDGE. What are you? DEFENDANT. A costermonger, bloomin' whiteheart cauliflowers and fish. I was never near the place. COUNSEL. But weren 't you fined for this at the police court? DEFENDANT. The blessed judge found me a pound and costs in a muddling case. I wasn't there! JUDGE. You are the most innocent man in London. Judgment for the plaintiff for

UNDER the act for the better prevention of cattle-stealing in Natal, the word '' cattle " is de fined as including, inter aha, ostriches. A LAWYER of the Lynn, Mass., bar recently appeared before the court in Fall River in an accident case. Having been educated in medi cine as well as in law, he was able to introduce into his argument an unusual amount of medical learning, which impressed the court, the bar, and

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apparently the jury; for one of the jurors, drop ping in a day or two afterwards at the office of a local lawyer, said to him, in sober earnestness, "What a powerful lot of medicine that Lynn lawyer knows. I should think he must have been studying up pretty near the whole of Lydia Pinkham's Works."

THERE hangs from the chandelier in the law library in the Penobscot county court house, a peculiar object, as viewed from the floor, says Holman Day, in the Boston Advertiser. Closer inspection shows that it is an old black pipe. A clay pipe. It has been there for months and it will probably stay there. The oldest member of the Penobscot bar is Hon. Josiah Crosby or Dexter, now well along in the eighties. Now, Squire Crosby ámokes the strongest pipe in Maine. He has no use for a pipe that is a degree less black than ebony. When he goes to court he picks out his best pipe, and that is his blackest one. Such a one he took with him to Bangor on a trip some months ago. He sat down for a quiet smoke in the law library before his case came on — for he is still in active prac tice notwithstanding his age. When he was called to the court room, he laid his pipe down on a table and hastened away. Some of the lawyers spied the curious black object. Its stem was stubby, it was absolutely as black as ink and its fragrance was so pro nounced that it was almost a visible smell. The lawyers decided that Squire Crosby's pipe was in all ways as unique as its owner. They con cluded that the relic ought to be suitably pre served. Therefore one of the young attorneys was sent out around the corner to buy a few yards of ribbon. Then the pipe was draped, and was suspended from the great chandelier in the room. At recess, Squire Crosby came back with nervous, eager tread, his sharp little eyes peer ing and snapping as he looked for his pipe. He couldn't find it, though it swung above his head. It didn't occur to him that any such honor had been done his old T. D. He finally sadly con cluded that some vandal had thrown it away. And he'd had it eleven years, and had just got it to tasting right I