Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 12.pdf/252

Rh Mr. Sneak's pride in his profession is very pleasing. Not every one can feel his exulta tion in being on the roll — " the height on which I stand." But Mr. Sneak had, as he said, more than his fair share of trouble. A prodigal father is a severe trial. Mr. Sneak's mistake, in dealing with the problem, was his attempt to make his father a clerk. An old gentleman of wandering habits, given to pota tions, and in his cups excessively sentimental, if not maudlin, would upset the discipline of any office. The picture of the old man, fed and clothed by his son, and reproaching him for his baseness in prospering in the world, and especially for ingratitude, possesses a humor which Mr. Buchanan, perhaps, did not realize. Mr. Sneak, senior, was of the race which derided attorneys. Set down to copy documents, he preferred to use his son's foolscap to draw (inter alia, as his son would have said) :

Whene'er he heard a tale of woe From Client A or Client B, His grief would overcome him so, He'd scarce have strength to take his fee. It laid him up for many days, When duty led him to distrain; And serving writs, although it pays, Gave him excruciating pain. He made out costs, distrained for rent, Foreclosed and sued, with moistened eye No Bill of costs could represent The value of such sympathy. No charges can approximate The worth of sympathy with woe; — Although He did his I think best I toought maketothem stateso.

Of all the many clients, who Had mustered round his legal flag, No single client of the crew Was half so dear as Captain Bagg.

Now CAPTAIN BAGG had bowed him to His She A wifey heavy neverhad matrimonial could of faults resist ayoke few;— joke.

A shape in black, that kick'd and agonized, Strung by a pauper to a gallows great And underneath it written, " Tommies Fate!"

So do the wits repeat their fancies, and Mr. Woty's crowning jest recurs unchanged after the lapse of a hundred years. More in accord with modern feeling than this outmoded satire is the presentation of a professional man given by Mr. W. S. Gilbert. Mr. Monkhouse first among poets admitted that the solicitor is a man; Mr. Gilbert with penetrating insight goes deeper to the heart of things, and reveals him as a man of feel ing and delicacy almost excessive in its re finement. Mr. Gilbert, indeed, refers many times to the profession. He first made known , the Solicitor of Ealing, who wedded a fairy; he refers in fitting terms to the fame of Ely Place; but nowhere has he drawn a more careful portrait than that of " Baines Carew, Gentleman;" BAINES CAREW, GENTLEMAN. Of all the good attorneys who Have placed their names upon the roll, But few could equal Haines Carew For tenderheartedness and soul.

Her chaff at first he meekly bore, Till unendurable it grew. "To stop this persecution sore I will consult my friend CAREW. "And when Carevfs advice I've got, Divorce a mensa I shall try." (A legal separation — not

A vinculo '• ОA BAIXES secret hitherto, CAREW, you my know woe I've kept (Anil To Raines hear that Carew, BAGGEsquire, had anyhewoe.) wept

My wife—whom I considered true— With brutal conduct drives me mad." "I am appalled," said BAIXES CAREW. • What Of worthy ! soundpeople the matrimonial such as these knell! Why was I an Attorney? Well — Go on to the Sacuitia, please." • Domestic A harderbliss casehas youproved never my heard, bane, My wife (in other matters sane) Pretends that I'm a Dicky Bird!
 * My case, indeed, is passing sad,