Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 12.pdf/232

 téreen PUBLISHED MONTHLY AT $4.00 PER ANNUM.

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Communications in regard to the contents of the Magazine should be addressed to the Editor, HORACE W. FULLER, 344 Tremont Building, Boston, Mass. The Editor will be glad to receive contributions of articles of moderate length upon subjects of in terest to the profession; also anything in the way of legal antiquities or curiosities, facelice, anecdotes, etc.

FACETI/E. A farmer mimed Parks, who was noted for driving hard bargains, agreed to lease his farm to an illiterate wag named Buffington. Parks employed a pettifogger who drew up the lease, after the manner of his tribe, with an unscrupu lous regard for his client's interest and a bounti ful repetition of the word, " said.'' After the lease was completed Buffington was called in and the instrument was read to him. "I won't sign it," said he. " Why won't you?" exclaimed the farmer indignantly. " Because," he replied, " there's too cl much of the said Parks and not enough of the said Buffington." A LITTLE while ago a federal judge in a west ern territory remarked that if he should re ceive a letter that was not addressed to " The Honorable," he would decline to read it, taking it for granted that the writer desired to treat him with indignity. This recalls the story of the Georgia lawyer who had been elevated to the bench. His wife said to him, " Law, John, if you be Judge, what be I?" "Oh," was the ungallant reply. " you will be the same old fool you always were." MAGISTRATE (to witness) — "I understand that you overheard the quarrel between this de fendant and his wife?" Witness — " Yis, sor." "Tell the court, if you can, what he seemed to be doing." "He seemed to be doin' the listenin'." THE wit of the Choates is a family trait. The bonmots of Rufus circulated in his day as Joseph's do in ours. By overwork Rufu.s had shattered

his health. Edward Everett expostulated with him on one occasion, saying : "My dear friend, if you are not more selfconsiderate you will ruin your constitution." "Oh," replied the legal wag, " the constitu tion was! "destroyed long ago. I'm living on the by-laws MR. JOSEPH Choate's self-possession is seldom disturbed. Once, however, he was discon certed. It was during the trial of a well-known will case. Mr. Felix McClusky, formerly door keeper of the House of Representatives, was on the stand. "Now, Mr. McClusky," insinuatingly asked the great lawyer, " isn't it true that you are the modern Munchausen?" "You're the second blackguard that has asked me that within a week," roared McClusky, "and —" He got no further; a roar of laughter at Choate's expense drowned the rest of the retort. A LEARNED attorney of the Maryland bar was in the middle of a brilliant argument for a defend ant, in a suit for damages (arising from the fact that lisionthe with plaintiff's the defendant's), vessel had been and in sunk thein course a colof his remarks, said : •' This collision happened in the broad day light .and was witnessed by divers persons, who "at this point the defendant, hearing the last words of the sentence and not being versed in legal parlance, rose to his feet and exclaimed, "Judge, that's a lie 1 Ther' ain't no divers in this case! I didn't hire none, if he wants them he's got to pay them, I shan't." NOTES. ALEXANDER II. introduced trial by jury in Russia, but the courts dispense with it as much as possible, and seek to abolish it altogether. The reason is not that the authorities wish to curtail the liberties of the people, for the most