Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 12.pdf/120

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"You sign this deed of your own free will, do you, madam?" asked the notary public. "What do you mean by that?" demanded the large, red- faced woman. "I mean there has been no compulsion on the part of your husband, has there?" "Him? " she ejaculated, turning to look at the meek little man sitting behind her. " I'd like to see him try to compulse me!" Two lawyers who were good friends got on opposite sides of a case, and it was necessary for one of them to go on the witness stand. The other thought he would have some fun with his friend. "Now, sir, are you a lawyer?" "I was admitted to the bar in " "That is not the question, sir. I ask you, Are""That Iyou amais alawyer? member not an "answer of the county to the bar." question. Do

you consider your advice is worth $5?" "Ido." "What advice did you ever give that you considered worth that sum?" asked the other triumphantly. "When I told you that unless you stopped talking you would prove yourself a fool." A WOMAN named O'Brien was lately brought up in a court for assaulting her husband. Her husband, being confined in bed, was unable to appear in court. The woman's face was bruised, one eye closed, the nose split, and she had a bandage over her head. "What an awful condition the poor woman is in! " said the magistrate, pityingly.

"Och, yer worship!" exclaimed the woman, with a ring of exultation, "but just wait till yez see O'Brien!" MAGISTRATE (kindly to prisoner) : " I'll give you another trial." MAGISTRATE (to same person next morning) : "What are you here for now?" PEARLY SAM : " I 'specs I'se here to get dat udder trial." A PROMINENT American lawyer was sitting with Lord Esher in the county appeals in London, while a prosy but prominent queen's counsel was arguing a point. Lord Esher said to the Ameri can : "What do you think of that gentleman?" The other said, "Who is he?" "One of her ma jesty's counsel." "Oh," said the American, " now I understand why you use the expression I have heard so much since I came to this country, 'God save the Queen.'"

NOTES. THE tidings reach us that Japan is adopting a new form of capital punishment. It is called the vacuum chamber. In one minute and forty seconds the cell of the condemned man will be emptied of air by a pump. Almost instant death will ensue. The chamber is to be eight feet in height, ten in width, and ten in length. In each side an air-tight window is to be inserted, of three-quarter inch plate-glass, and by such means officials may watch precisely what occurs. Mean while, we are informed that the prisoner will have to undergo certain mortuary preparations. He will be stripped, so as to prevent the lodg ment of any air in folds of his clothing. He will also be placed on the flat of his back, with hands joined above his head, so that the chest may be contracted, thus expelling air from the lungs. . . . This is all very scientific and speedy as a means of execution, but if it99aims at merciful methods