Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 11.pdf/470

 Ctje #reen 38ag. Publ1shed Monthly, at $4.00 per Annum.

S1ngle Numbers, 50 Cents.

Communications in regard to the contents of the Magazine should be addressed to the Editor, Horace W. Fuller, 344 Tremont Building, lioston. Mass. The Editor will be glad to reeeive eontributions of artieles of moderate length upon subjeets of inter est to the profession; also anything in the way of legal antiquities or euriosities, faeetioe, anec dotes, ete. FACETIÆ. "I understand Windig, the attorney, is seri ously ill." — " Yes; I met his physician this morning, and he says he is lying at death's door." — "That's just like a lawyer."—Ex.

"Why is it that your advocate interests him self so much in your case? " " I have borrowed money of him. If I lose the case, he loses his money." "I read to-day," said Mrs. McBride, " of a judge who recently granted twenty divorces in one day." "He must be one of those twenty-knot destroyers we read about sometimes," added Mr. McBride.—Life.

Great Lawyer (in cross-examination) — Ah! You consider the prisoner an honest man, do you? W1tness. — An honester man never lived. Great Lawyer (superciliously). — Will you kindly state on what you base that remarkable opinion? W1tness (hotly). — On the fact that he once tried to be a lawyer and failed.

Old lady : " I desire to leave all my property in charity." Lawyer : "Your relatives might try to break the will; why not give the property to charity at once? " Old lady : " Oh, dear no! They'd put me in a lunatic asylum."

A Canad1an barrister is responsible for the following : — One day a farmer came into his office, and requested that a holograph will should be prepared for his signature. The lawyers began at once to explain terms, but the tiller of the prairie, who prided himself not a little upon his legal knowledge, only grew angry. " I want a holograph will," he declared, " and I'm going to have it," he added in parenthesis. When the im possibility of his request was still pointed out, he angrily stumped from the office, shouting out, "D it! if I can't have a holograph will, I'll blamed well die intestine!" Almost as funny was the tradesman who had recently been left some land. He came to the lawyer with instruc tions for a deed of transfer to be prepared in favor of himself. On being asked his reasons, he gave them thus : " Don't feel sort of com fortable about that bit of country. I know how particular you lawyer gents are, and I thought, maybe, that if I signed a deed making over the property to myself no one would be able to touch it." When his application was refused, he went away in a rage, and subsequently tried to bring an action against the lawyer, who, he imagined was trying to defraud him.

Isaac Parker, of Fort Smith, Ark., probably sentenced more men to be executed than any other judge who ever lived, not because he was so unrelentingly severe, but because he had the hardest lot of criminals to deal with that ever came within the jurisdiction of such an official. One day the judge looked compassionately over his spectacles at one young scamp and said : "In consideration of the youth and inexperience of this prisoner, I shall let him off with a fine of $25 "Before the judge had done speaking, the very fresh young man coolly ran his hand into his trousers-pocket, remarking nonchalantly as he did so : " That's all hunky, judge; I've got that much right here in my jeans." " And one