Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 10.pdf/98



CURRENT TOPICS. English as She is Written. — The city coun cil of Cape May undertook to limit the speed of street cars in that city. This is the way they did it: — "Sec. I. Be it ordained and enacted by the in habitants of the city of Cape May, in council assem bled, and it is hereby enacted by the authority of the same, that hereafter all passenger cars operated by trolley or electric power within the limits of the city of Cape May shall not run at a speed greater than six miles per hour within said city limits." Construed according to the rules of grammar, this simply means that the companies must not propel all their cars faster than six miles, but by implication some of them may run faster. In connection with this, read the election case of Waller v. Sikes, 120 N. C. 231. There the clerk of the court certified " that two hundred electors of said county did not sign said petition." That may have been true, and yet the petition may have been signed by two hundred electors of the county.

Autographs. — There is much good reading in a sale catalogue of autographs. It seems that the dis tinction or worth of the writer is no measure of the commercial value of his handwriting. This painful fact is demonstrated in a very recent catalogue of autographs on sale by William Evarts Benjamin, of New York. Here the public are offered the hand writing of royalty and commoners, including all kinds and conditions, and every degree of worth and worthlessness, virtue and vice, genius and stupidity, at prices within the reach of all — if their arms are long enough. On the first page we find a note of a " Rare Peter Stuyvesant Document," at $150, while just below we see letters from twenty-six modern actors at just half the money. Certainly Peter was not much of an actor, and any one of the male actors would have made just as good a governor — Barnaby a much better one. Turning the page we find the "mar tyred " Charles 1 at $45, while the great Protector is thought worth only ¥40. You can get all four of the English Georges for $15. Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, may be had on mourning-paper, speaking

of the health of his princess, for $8.50; probably if he had written something of the fragrant " Lily" it would have been worth much more. It is a pity that no price is affixed to Henry IV of France, perhaps because it is priceless (but so is Charles the Merry, of England, who founded many ignoble houses). The signature of the greatest man of all history, Na poleon I, is cheap at $15, but then he was only first consul, and if you want Maximilian I, of Mexico, you must lay down $25. Wellington is valued at onetenth of Napoleon, which is just about right. Bis marck, thanking a lady tor poetical congratulations on his birthday, is reasonable at $9, considering the effort it must have cost him to read the poetry. Barnum, as well known in his lifetime as any man in the .world, costs only fifty cents, while Brigham Young costs ten times as much. Art comes high : Joshua Reynolds at $20 and Wagner at $15, are examples. Philanthropy rules low: " Gerrit Smith, distinguished philanthropist, temperance advocate and abolitionist, gave away nearly 200,000 acres of his estate to the poor" — fifty cents. (A note from Ada Rehan, asking a friend to drive, is quoted at twice as much.) But if the philanthropist had the bad luck to be hanged he is set down at fifty times as much — John Brown, of Ossawatomie, at $25. There are few legal autographs in the list, — Franklin Pierce, more of a lawyer than a president, is quoted at $5 : and McKinley, more of a president than a lawyer, at $2. Brougham, asking an actress to write him an order for a box, is well worth $1. Eleven pieces of Henry Wheaton may be had for $3, Chan cellor Walworth for $ 1, Theodore Sedgwick (1778), for $3, Albert Pike, for $3.50 — but he wrote poetry. The richest man in the world, Rothschild, is worth only $1, while the ragged Rousseau comes at $7.50 (but then the banker's signature on a current check would be worth more). But none of the foregoing worthies, except woodenlegged Peter, seem to be " in it " with literary people, especially when they write about love affairs. Thus, a mawkish love letter from Keats to Fanny Brawne, avowing his hatred of the world, and wishing " I could take a sweet poison from your lips to send me out of it," is held at $175 : and a letter from Mar guerite de Yalois, author of the dull but very much 79