Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 10.pdf/58

 Ct)e #reen Bag;Published Monthly, at $4.00 per Annum.

Single Numbers, 50 Cents.

Communications in regard to the contents of the Magazine should be addressed to the Editor, Horace W. Fuller, 344 Tremont Building, Boston, Mass.

The Editor will be glad to receive contributions of articles of moderate length upon subjects of inter est to the profession; also anything in the way of legal antiquities or curiosities, facetia, anec dotes, etc. FACETI^. It was a case of slander in the court of com mon pleas. A lady had taken the stand in be half of the plaintiff, and the latter's attorney was examining her. " Now, Mrs. Motley," he began, "repeat the slanderous statements made by the defendant in your hearing on this occasion." " Oh, they are too vulgar for any respectable person to hear," replied the witness hastily, the ex pression of her countenance betraying the aver sion which the very thought of the words inspired. "Then, just whisper them to the judge," returned the attorney unwittingly. It was not till the judge himself smiled that the artless attorney realized the unenviable position in which he found himself.

In the early days of Montana, when the judge of the district court made a circuit of the larger camps, a certain mining case came up at W. A Mr. Webster was in some way mixed up in a case before the jury in which title to a mining claim was the main point at issue. He had been one of the original locators and the counsel for the defense had a most important question to put to him. Now on all momentous occasions, Mr. Webster, being of a jovial nature and having bib ulous tendencies, was wont to become more than hilarious. The plaintiff having rested his case, the judge, overruling a motion for a non-suit, the defense called up their first witness, Mr. Webster! By this time the latter was in the midst of boon companions, upon a general jollification bent. He was just explaining at length his relationship to the famous Daniel Webster, when the bailiff, interrupting, announced that the defense awaited him.

"Let them wait," said Mr. Webster, with much solemnity, " I've been waiting on them all day, now I'll come when I get ready. Now boys —" The message reported, the judge sent a sheriff with a bench warrant, and the astonished witness found himself taken with but little ceremony to the courtroom. The dignity of the court was unruffled, and the attorney for the defense put the question : — "Mr. Webster, are you an American citizen?" "Yes, sir," answered the witness. "That's sufficient; 1 waive cross-examination," said the attorney for the plaintiff. "Mr. Webster, I fine you fifty dollars! " cried the judge. The amazed witness fumbled in his pocket for a roll of money, and then without a word placed a fifty-dollar bill upon the table in front of the clerk and hurried out of the courtroom. As he rejoined his friends he shouted : — "You may hang me if this isn't the first time I ever heard of a man being fined for being an American citizen!" When it was related to the judge that the fine for contempt of court had been attributed by the unlucky Webster to the fact of his being an American citizen, his enjoyment of the joke was such that he remitted the fine.

NOTES. This mixture of metaphors in the speech of an Irish barrister of the last century has been several times printed but may be reproduced as prefatory to the latest mixture given in a recent number of "Law Notes," published in London. Said the Irish barrister, " Gentlemen of the jury : In the evi dence I have just read I smell a rat. I heard him brewing in the storm of words but I trust to your verdict to crush him in the bud." And thus a later barrister : " My learned friend with mere wind from the inside of a teapot thinks to brow beat me from the legs of my position which stands on all fours. But he indulges in mere gorilla war 41