Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 09.pdf/518

 Squire Terry. man greeting with which Christian and his wife Katie had always met him, for they were both warm admirers of his and were fully sensible of the honor conferred upon their humble home whenever he paid them a visit; but, to the surprise — not to say discomfiture — of the Squire, Katie met him at the door without the least demonstration or sign of pleasure and, stepping to the back door, she called in a shrill, angry voice, "Chreestion, Meester Terry he coam." Presently Christian appeared, and he too greeted the Squire in a most uncomfortable and evasive fashion. "Wai, Christian," said the Squire, rubbing his hands together with a show of cheeriness, "what kin I do for ye to-day?" "Veil," replied Christian doggedly, " I vant you make oud sebaration papers mit me und Katie." "Vhat! " gasped the Squire in amaze ment, " you and Katie want to separate?" "Yas," broke in Katie shrilly, " ve sebarate; I didn't vould lif noder day mit dot ole hog." "Naw you vouldn't heh! " snarled Chris tian savagely, " I yous so soon lif mit a lousy olt chcssie cat already." "Stop! wait! " cried the Squire, recover ing his professional decorum and perceiving that here was the culmination of a deepseated family row, " I can't hev sech talk in the presence of the court; it's an intercale perceeding to separate accordinr to law, and we mustn't hev no quarrelin' or wranglin'; the fust thing is to git the facts in order." He opened his valise and took out, first the legal cap, then the Revised Statutes, which he opened and laid upon the table to give the proceeding a greater show of legal ity. Then, calling for a pen and ink, he took the matter judicially in hand. "Les see; how many years hev you ben married?" he asked, peering at Katie over the tops of his spectacles. "Twanty-tree year," she replied, fingering her apron nervously.

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"Twenty-three years, "repeated the Squire, as he wrote it down, "and now want to separate! " he shook his head in grave dis approbation. "How many acres ye got in this farm, Christian?" "Two hundred und twanty." "Too bad, too bad," muttered the Squire, writing the answer down; " you and Katie worked so hard to clear that mortgage off, and now the farm lies got to be divided up." He shook his head again and heaved a sigh. "Veil, Katie she didn" vant to vork some more," urged Christian angrily. " She radder vould be fine lady und schtay in house und blay organ already." "Chreestion he lie bout dat, Meester Terry," broke in Katie hotly. " I vant organ. for Louise, like oder girls haf, aber Chrees tion he vont buy notting; und den ven I git rhumatiz und can't vork oud in field, Chrees tion he growl all time; den he say I dond kees him some more: you tink I kees a ole hog like dat? " and she snapped her fingers at Christian contemptuously. "Aw you kees de Davil," growled Chris tian sullenly. "Order! order! " commanded the Squire, rapping the table severely and looking about with an air of ruffled dignity; " the law don't allow sech language in a judicial perceed ing; I'll overlook it this time, but don't talkthat way agin; now les hev a list of your pers'nal property." It took a long time to get up this list; the Squire insisted that every article should be separately listed and described, and he in quired into the history of many of them; that easy chair, for instance, was bought fif teen years ago; it was their first piece of parlor furniture, they bought it at Blankenburg's, and they couldn't help remembering what a pleasant ride they had coming home from town that day with the chair in the back of the wagon. They were just beginning to get ahead a little then, and that sofa and parlor stove and rocking chair, and those