Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 08.pdf/338

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Communications in regard to the contents of the Magazine should be addressed to the Editor, Horace W. Fuller, 15^ Beacon Street, Boston, Mass. The Editor will be glad to receive contributions of articles of moderate length upon subjects of inter est to the profession; also anything in the way of legal antiquities or curiosities, facetia, anec dotes, etc. LEGAL ANTIQUITIES. Coke, in the preface to his Third Report, gives as a reason why the early statutes were not writ ten in English : " It was not thought convenient to publish those or any of the Statutes enacted in those days in the vulgar tongue, lest the un learned by bare reading without right under standing might suck out errors, and trusting to their own conceit might endanger themselves, and sometimes fall into destruction."

face, said : " That is an assault "; and following it with a full blow above the eye, said : " That is battery." Carnes, rubbing his forehead, sat down, exclaiming : " I did not think the fellow had so much sense." In the office of solicitor he was a terror to all evil-doers. At Barnwell, on one occasion, a party had committed some heinous offense and fled the State. His death was subsequently announced in the newspapers; his wife administered on the estate, and at court she appeared in her mourn ing weeds. Mr. Stark disregarded all this matter, and at court was seen swearing his witnesses and sending the bill to the Grand Jury. The late Col. Hargood said to him : " Surely, Mr. Stark, you are not indicting a dead man? " " Dead or alive, I'll have him," was the reply. And sure enough, at the next court, the supposed dead man appeared to answer to the indictment.

FACETIÆ. In an altercation between counsel and the judge, the judge, after several attempts at con ciliation, remarked: "Well, I have done all I can to promote peace, but the result reminds me very much of the fable of the old man and the ass." The counsel, with visible irritation in his coun tenance, wished to know which of those entities applied to him. "Neither in particular," was the reply; "but, considering our respective ages, you cannot object to my saying that I am the old man."

Robert Stark was a well-known member of the South Carolina Bar, and many good stories are told of him. When first admitted he was rather an unpromising beginner at the law. On one occasion he was defending a client charged with assault and battery. In the course of the trial, Mr. Carnes, the County Attorney, remarked, "May it please your Honor, I don't believe the young gentleman (Stark) knows what an assault and battery is." Stark, shaking his fist in Carnes's

An Irish judge tells the following story of one of the juries in the south of Ireland, where he was trying a case. The usher of the court pro claimed, with due solemnity, the usual formula : "Gentlemen of the jury, take your proper places in the court! " whereupon seven of them, in stinctively, walked into the dock.

Lawyer. — " What is your gross income?" Witness. — " I have no gross income." Lawyer. — " No income at all?" Witness. — " No gross income; I have a net income. I am in the fish business."

"Did any man ever yet make anything by opposing a woman's will? " exclaimed a misera ble husband. " Yes, I have made a good deal out of that sort of thing," answered his brother Richard. "But, Dick," responded the other, "you are a lawyer, and the women whose wills you oppose are always dead." 309