Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 06.pdf/121

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FACETIÆ. Mr. Justice Burrough's mode of illustration was remarkably quaint. He once began an address to the jury in this manner : — "Gentleman, you have been told that the first is a consequential issue; now perhaps you don't know what a consequential issue means; but I dare say you understand ninepins. Well, then, if you de liver your bowl so as to strike the front pin in a particular direction, down go the rest; just so it is with these counts; knock down the first and all the rest will go to the ground; that's what we call a consequential issue."

The following is a literal copy of an indorse ment on the back of a warrant returned by a Michigan constable : — "I do hereby sertify that I arrested the within wiles as I am directed, and Should have taken the horses, but they ware with held from me by warren wiles and Biger Wiles by fisical Strength, and the defendant Biger Wiles was taken from me by a writ of Habo Scorbous. " Cons Table."

It is sometimes queried whether it would not save time and answer the ends of justice equally well, to do away with all argument to the jury. It might do occasionally, but the following in stance shows that it is not always safe : — •• I once had a case," said a member of the bar, against a man in the country, which was as clear as daylight in my favor — the fellow had not even a shadow of defense for refusing to pay his debt — but by the cunning of his lawyer, he had continued to avoid coming to trial for about two years, in hopes that he might worry me into a compromise. At last the case was called, late in the term and late in a hot day, the court and jury tired and impatient. I stated the facts, produced the evidence, which was all on iny side; the judge asked the counsel whether they wished to argue the case, stating that he hardly thought it necessary in so plain a matter. The lawyers agreed to submit it without argument; the jury went out and immediately returned with a verdict for the defendent. As soon as the court adjourned I sought the foreman of the jury, a worthy but not very brilliant man, and asked him how, in the name of common sense, they came to render such a verdict. "' Why you see,' said he, ' we didn't think much

of the lawyer against you, and it wasn't strange he didn't have nothing to say; but. Squire, the fact is, we thought you was about one of the smartest lawyers in the country, and if you couldn't find nothing to say on your side, it must be a pretty hard case, and so we had to go against you!"

Legal authorities were not much used and very lightly esteemed in " the West " a few years ago. Dan Wilson, who resided not many miles from the western bank of the Father of Waters, was a sharp lawyer, more noted for wit than wisdom, for tongue than talent. He was trying a case before a justice of the peace, and the opposing counsel had cited "Greenleaf on Evi dence " so decidedly against him that a bold push must be made, or all was lost for him and his client. Squire Wells sat down after making the quotation, satisfied that the justice would do justice in the premises. Dan asked him for the book, opened it, rose, and, with a look of solemn surprise, said he was amazed that so good a lawyer as Mr. Wells should bring such a book as that into court. "Why," said he, " the author himself never thought of its being used for authority in any case. Just hear what he says in the preface : ' Doubtless a happier selection of these principles might be made, and the work might have been much better executed by another hand. For, now it is finished, I find it but an approximation towards what was originally desired. But in the hope that it may still be found not useless as the germ of a better treatise, it is submitted to the candor of a lib eral profession.' Now," continued Dan, "an author who admits that his work is as bad as this, certainly never expected it to be brought into court to govern the opinions of a gentle man who has sat on the bench, as your Honor has, for eighteen months." The justice was perfectly satisfied. He ruled the "authority" out as of no account whatever, and gave his judgment for Dan and his client.

An old negro being on trial, his lawyer chal lenged a number of the jury who, his client said, had a prejudice against him. " Are there any more jurymen who have a prejudice against you?" inquired the lawyer. "No, sah, de jury am all right, but I want to challenge de judge."