Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 05.pdf/58

 Judges Predicaments. "Hold on, man, hold on! " exclaimed the Judge. " I only want a trim up, I tell you; don't cut it so short." "Cut it short be blowed! " replied the bar ber, slicing away triumphantly; "you didn't cut it short when you give me five year in the stone jug. This is the prison crop you 've got to have, old man, as sure as a gun; so you 'd best take it kindly." A Judge was journeying up to the North of England in a fast train, which, after leav ing London, did not stop till it came to Rugby. The only other occupant of the carriage was a well-dressed and apparently gentlemanly man, who took no notice of the Judge till the train had left the terminus. Then the man came over, and seating hinself opposite the Judge, poured out a torrent of foul-mouthed abuse and threats against the latter for having sent him to penal servitude for coining some years before. The Judge waited till the man paused for breath, and then said very quietly, — "My dear sir, don't you think it's rather bad form to talk shop in private life? Ah, you don't think so! Very well, then, let us relate some of our mutual experiences. I have no doubt that I shall find yours a good deal more entertaining than you will mine." The fellow was so nonplussed by the Judge's fearless good-humor that he quieted down, and actually did expatiate upon some of the incidents in his career. Probably he never saw the nice point of satire in a judge appealing to a convict he had sentenced on a question of " bad form."

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The following is told of Sir Henry Hawkins, who, rightly or wrongly, has the reputation of being a severe judge, and is consequently more dreaded than beloved by the criminal classes. Sir Henry, as is well known, is in private life an ardent follower of the turf, and when more serious business permits, seldom fails to attend Newmarket races. On one occasion he was returning from a meeting on the classic heath, and had entered a railway-carnage at the station for the pur pose of returning to. town. Three undesir able-looking fellow-passengers followed him in, and Sir Henry was thinking of chang ing his carriage, when a fourth man, who was also on the point of entering, stared hard at the Judge, got back on to the plat form, and, addressing his companions, said, — "Come, get out of that, boys, — a nice warm shop that is you 've got into. Do you know who that ' mug ' is you were going to take on?" "Who is it, Bill? " asked one of the men, as they cleared out of the compart ment. "Why, 'Orkins, to be sure, — a proper sort of 'mug' that to try our game on, eh?" Sir Henry in the mean while, laughing in his sleeve, had recognized the man who had moved the others off as a man he had sen tenced at the Old Bailey for card-sharping in railway-trains. The others, not knowing him, had marked him down as a " mug " or "flat " on whom to practise. The Judge's reputation probably saved him from annoy ance.