Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 05.pdf/57

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THE AMERICAN TORIES. (M'FiNGAL, CANTO I.)

Among ourselves a venal band; A dastard race, who long have sold Their souls and consciences for gold; Who wish to stab their country's vitals, Could they enjoy surviving titles; With pride behold our mischiefs brewing Insult and triumph in our ruin? Priests who, if Satan should sit down To make a bible of his own, Would gladly, for the sake of mitres, Turn his inspired and sacred writers; Lawyers, who should he wish to prove His claim to his old seat above, Would, if his cause he 'd give them fees in, Bring writs of entry sur disseisin.
 * ' AND are there in this freeborn land

Plead for him boldly at the session, And hope to put him in possession; Merchants, who for his friendly aid Would make him partners in their trade, Hang out their signs in goodly show, Inscribed with Beelzebub &• Co.; And judges who would list his pages For proper liveries and wages, And who as humbly cringe and bow To all his mortal servants now?" "There are; and Shame, with pointing ges tures, Marks out th' Addressers and Protesters; Whom following down the stream of fate, Contempts ineffable await; And public Infamy forlorn, Dread Hate, and everlasting Scorn." John Trumbull.

JUDGES' PREDICAMENTS. FROM London "Tit-Bits" we cull the following amusing anecdotes of some of the English judges: — On one occasion Mr. Justice Manisty was on circuit at Exeter for the Assizes. One morning he left his lodgings early for a stroll, and finding that he had plenty of time on his hands before the court assembled, he turned into a hairdresser's shop for the purpose of getting shaved and generally trimmed up. Customers being scarce at that early hour, there was only one assistant present in the place. When the Judge entered the man jumped up with alacrity, and bowed him into the operating-chair with all a barber's suave politeness. Having lathered his distin guished customer's face, and stropped his razor with more than ordinary vigor, he com menced to attack the judical stubble. But he had n't gone far in his work before he sud denly paused, with one hand on the Judge's

nose and the other waving the razor painfully near Sir Henry's throat. "Blessed if I don't think," said the barber, "that you 're the old cove what gave me five years at Winchester." The Judge's feelings may be better im agined than described; but he merely replied, with what coolness he could summon to his aid, — "I don't know, my good fellow; I have a bad memory for faces." However, the man went on shaving, and Mr. Justice Manisty congratulated himself that the ex-convict did n't bear malice. This easiness of mind came a little too soon. After the shave the Judge, with character istic determination, decided to carry out his original programme and have his hair cut as well. To his horror, the barber had no sooner exchanged the razor for his scissors than his locks began to fall in a perfect shower on the floor.