Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 05.pdf/472

 Rh that he had permitted his anger to obtain the mas tery of him, and to suffer him to do such an act, for the chair was a good one, an heirloom in his family, and he knew he never could replace it."

DURING the trial of an action at the Orleans County Circuit, at Albion, N. Y.; recently, the fol lowing amusing incident occurred : — A negro was being examined as a witness for the plaintiff. On his cross-examination the defend ant's attorney in a loud voice and threatening man ner asked, " Were you not convicted, sir, for the crime of non-support of your wife?" "Sur," answered the witness, " I consider dat question a slur upon the court." It is needless to add that there was much laughter, in which the court himself heartily joined.

IN the old days of the circuit riders in Illinois there was a good deal of queer testimony first and last. On one occasion there was an assumpsit suit before old Judge Ford. The plaintiffs attor ney proved the debt in a conclusive way. There was no cross-examination, and a verdict seemed to be a matter of course, until the defendant pro duced a witness, who testified that on a certain day he was riding between two towns forty miles apart, that half-way between he saw the defendant meet the plaintiff and pay to him the exact sum in question, but he was unable to tell whether the plaintiff was tall or short, what kind of a horse he rode, how he was dressed, or anything like that. But of the main fact he was sure. The judge without hesitation gave a verdict for the plaintiff. The defendant's counsel was aroused. "Your Honor," he began, " did you not hear the testimony of the witness?" "I heard it," re sponded the judge. " But, your honor, I shall have to take an appeal." " That is your constitu tional right," said the judge. " And I shall have to file a bill of exceptions. And will your honor sign the bill of exceptions, including the testimony of this witness?" "Certainly!" said the imperturbable judge; "and I will add below that the judge did not believe one word of it!"

THERE is a certain member of the Chicago bar who is noted for his low, weak voice, and unob trusive way. On one occasion the gifted Emery

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A. Storrs came into the office and inquired for this man. A clerk said he was out. " Oh, no!" said Mr. Storrs, " he is in the inner room." " How do you know that? " asked the clerk, alarmed by the guess. " How do I know it? " answered Storrs. "Why, it is so damn still!"

NOTES

THE legal profession is one of the most dignified of all others, and to be a good lawyer a man must be a gentleman and a scholar. But in nearly every town and city there are men who write themselves as lawyers who are no more fit to follow that pro fession than a hog is to be a saddle-horse. They prance around the streets and work up cases that have no business in the courts, and in some myste rious means manage to eke out a living. They flaunt themselves in the courts, impede the pro gress of justice, and embarrass lawyers who have a right to follow the profession. Their methods in dealing with the public beget distrust, and cast reflection on the whole bar. Men who entertain the proper conception of what a lawyer should be often wonder how they got license to practise; but as fast as the old ones drop out, new ones of the same class rise up to fill their places. Thus it is that professions founded on the grandest principles enunciated by divine authority are disgraced and brought into disrepute by unworthy representatives, — men who are better fitted to sling a sledge-ham mer in a blacksmith-shop or pull the bell-cord over a good stout mule. The same rule applies to all the professions in a more or less degree. Men who are too lazy to work and too worthless to enter the real battle of life, where nothing but merit succeeds, enter some profession where the greatest imposition can be practised, frequently the ministry. They adopt it as a means of livelihood, and struggle through in an indifferent sort of way, bringing reproach upon their calling. In all other professions this state of affairs will be found to exist. It is refreshing to note that occasionally the better clement of a pro fession, driven to desperation, will cast off one of these barnacles. If the number disbarred were greater, the good men in all professions would suffer less for the lack of public confidence. — ATashville Banner.