Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 05.pdf/412

 Legal Reminiscences.

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— he was loose in his business habits, — 'in this community. Everybody says that but he was as truthful as the average of his he has no heart, — that he is a kicker, like brethren. But four of them, who had all Ishmael I know he has a heart; it's just had controversies with him, testified that he about the size of a beech-nut, and just as did not stand upon a par with his neighbors sharp-cornered! "M. is only three feet and four inches high, as to truth and veracity. That was our Ver and by common consent the meanest man mont form of impeaching a witness. I induced him to make theclosingargument. in this community. What a mercy he I told him that the bar were on his side, and did n't grow bigger! When M. was born, that he could make the four lawyers wish his father said he wasn't worth raising; somebody had kicked them out of court but his mother said he could be raised on before they impeached him. He assented. skim milk from a bottle, and would make Before a good jury, in -the crowded court an errand-boy. Somebody tried to change house, he began. His descriptio.. of the the order of Providence and make a lawyer cow — her usefulness, her helplessness, the of him. He spoiled an errand-boy and stony-hearted cruelty of the brute who did n't make a lawyer. "The last and least of the four impeachers would starve her — was graphic. But when he came to the impeaching witnesses, he is A. Now, I am not so hard-hearted as to trod the mountain heights of humorous say a word against A. I pity him. He's eloquence. " This wretch," he said, " starved a poor debilitated old man, in his second my herd of cows. That is scarcely denied; childhood, and he iilways ltas been ever since and the defence is that four men, whom some he was a small boy! On the other side is people call lawyers, say that I don't always B., an old fellow full of faults; but he never wilfully injured a man or woman, impeached tell the truth. "Now I have no ill will against these a brother lawyer or starved a cow. Here four. They don't like me, — they don't like is his case, and here are the mangled anybody, and anybody don't like them. They remains of the impeachers. Gentlemen, judge are not to blame; it's their nature. They between us!" can't get rid of their bad smell; they would And they did. They gave B. so large a if they could. Why, I suppose any little verdict that we had hard work to retain it black and white animal would smell sweeter against the charge of prejudice in the jury. if he could. Look at the poor creeturs! I have noticed recently several references There is M. In some things he is great. He to the old rule that the jury were judges of can lie in more languages than any man at the law in criminal cases and actions for this bar. He can lie in Greek and Hebrew, libel. He would be a bold lawyer now who in Chinese and Choctaw, and in all kinds of should request the court to charge a jury Dutch, and his lie is always made from hard in conformity with that rule. Yet I have wood ashes. Had he ever a friend that he heard the request made, heard it refused, and did not bankrupt? Is there a man in court have seen a conviction reversed in the ap that likes him? If there is, let him hold up pellate court because the court declined so his hand. Not a hand is raised. When I to charge. The rule has been abrogated by get so low that no man will raise a hand for judicial legislation. According to my mem me, maybe I will go to impeaching my ory it was first questioned by Chief-Justice brothers of the bar. I will lie right down Shaw of Massachusetts about the year 1844. in sackcloth, as old Ahab did when Elijah I do not remember a case in New England caught him trying to steal Naboth's grape since, in which the old rule has been applied. vines. It was the practical application of this "Then there is R. He has been slandered