Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 04.pdf/57

 Rh

42

the Peace in a remote, thinly populated district. At the end of the Bill of Exceptions is the following note to the honorable Judge above: " It is proper for this court to say that this court did, and still does think, that the verdict of that jury was contrary to the law and the evidence, and that this court proba bly ought to have granted a new trial. But as five out of the six jurors were owing this court (who, when not on the bench, keeps a large general mer chandise store), and would have felt offended at a setting aside of their verdict, this court prefers to have your honor review the case. (Signed) J. P. H., Justice of the Peace."

LEGAL ANTIQUITIES. No person shall put- to sale any pins, but only such as shall be double-headed, and have the heads soldered fast to the shank and well smoothed; the shank well shaven; the point well and round filed, canted, and sharpened. (34 and 35 Henry VIII. cap. 6.)

All persons above the age of seven years shall wear upon Sabbaths and holidays, upon their heads, a cap of wool, knit, thicked, and dressed, in England, upon pain of forfeit for every day not wearing, three shillings and fourpence. (13 Eliz. cap. 19.) In 1376 Jack Cade's men beheaded all the lawyers they could find.

FACETIÆ. Tom Jones, a newly elected constable in one of the " hoop-pole " districts of West Virginia, had received his first writ of execution, wherein he was commanded " to levy of the goods and chat tels of John Brown," etc. In some way Jones had formed the opinion that to make a valid levy it was necessary that he should place his hands upon the property to be taken on execution. With this legal requirement uppermost in mind, and armed with the neces sary document, he wended his way to the pasture-

field of defendant Brown. Therein, quietly feed ing, were two or three gentle old milch cows and a young wild-eyed heifer calf. Stealthily approaching the cows, Jones laid his hands on each in turn, repeating each time, with a voice bristling with authority, " Consider yourself levied upon." The young heifer had been watching these legal proceedings with open-eyed amazement and fear, and as Jones approached her she sidled off. Again and again Jones attempted to touch the calf, but without success. Filled with wrath, and with vis ions of damage-suits for dereliction of duty, he made a wild spring for the calf, while the calf, equaliy agile, and with head and tail erect, made a wild dash for liberty. Away they raced at a 2.40 speed, now Jones gaining, and now the calf, — the constable filled with official wrath, the calf with deadly fear. Just how this race might have terminated is hard to tell, had not the calf stum bled in making a jump over a small brook, and going headlong into the water; Jones, close be hind, with a terrible splash went in after the calf, lighting astride of that animal, and catching her by one ear, he brought his fist down with terrible emphasis on her back, with the withering legal yell, " and now, d n you, consider yourself levied on." The following anecdote of a minor light of the Irish bench, though not precisely a "bull," pure and simple, belongs more or less to that fertile family. A wife had suffered untold cruelties at the hands of a barbarous husband, and in self-defence she "took the law of him : " but just before the time she relented, and told the judge she wished to leave the punishment and the case to God. "I regret, my good woman," replied the great official, " that we cannot do that; the case is far too important."

Indignant Lawyer. If we can't get justice in this court, we shall carry the case up. Your honor may mark my words. The Judge. I have marked them, sir. They will cost you ten dollars.

Judge Greene, of the State of, is a good lawyer, and somewhat of a stickler for niceties of