Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 04.pdf/531

 498 place her in full view of her judges, and even arranged the details of her dress to the best advantage. He then used his highest oratorical arts to excite the pity of the court, and so sub dued theii feelings that they could not find it in their hearts to condemn, and she was acquitted. The result was that the public prosecutor, Euthias, swore he would never prosecute another. The court also were so conscious of the disturbing cause of their judgment that they made a rule that in future no accused person, man or woman, should be present in court at the time of the decision. • An old law tract assumes to give in this simple language the origin of the tenancy by the law or courtesy of England : " It was called the law of England because it was invented in England on behalf of poor gentlemen who married gentle women, and had nothing to support themselves after their wives' death."

FACETIÆ. "My Lord, I assure you there is no understand ing between us," exclaimed an eminent English lawyer who had been suspected of collusion with the counsel who represented the other side. Lord Eldon thereupon observed : " I once heard a squire in the House of Commons say of himself and an other squire : ' We never through life had one idea between us; but I tremble for the suitors when I am told that two distinguished practitioners have no understanding between them!"

"What side is the gentleman on?" asked the stranger who had been listening for two hours to a lawyer arguing a case in the Supreme Court. "I don't know," replied the gentlemanly door keeper; " he has n't committed himself yet."

A certain lawyer of New York City, who is dis tinguished not only in his profession, but as a man of affairs, owns a delightful summer home in Ver mont. His neighbors there tell this story about his youngest child, a girl not more than ten years of age. After much coaxing this little girl had

prevailed upon her father to buy her a donkey and a cart. The first day of the donkey's arrival he was permitted to browse on the lawn. The child fol lowed the little animal about, and thinking that his countenance wore an uncommonly sad ex pression, she cautiously approached him, and, stroking his nose gently with her soft little hands, cooed in his ear : " Poor donkey! you feel lone some, don't you? But never mind, papa will be here to-morrow, and then you will have company." "And now, gentlemen of the jury," wound up the lawyer, " and now can you, with easy con sciences, refuse to bring in a verdict for this young woman? Think of her, with her husband killed by this railway corporation, and contemplate her situation, left alone, a widow, at the tender age of twenty-seven! Think —" But he was interrupted by the poor young widow, who raised her eyes, and in a voice chok ing with tears, sobbed : " Not twenty-seven, please, — twenty-five!" A lawyer retained in a case of assault and bat tery was cross-examining a witness in relation to the force of a blow struck : " What kind of a blow was given?'' "A blow of the common kind." "Describe the blow." " I am not good at descrip tion." " Show me what kind of a blow it was." "I cannot." "You must." "I won't." The lawyer appealed to the court. The court told the witness that if the counsel insisted upon his showing what kind of a blow it was, he must do so. "Do you insist upon it?" asked the witness. " I do." " Well, then, since you compel me to show you, it was this kind of a blow; " at the same time suiting the action to the word, and knocking over the astonished disciple of Coke upon Littleton. When the lawyer arose to his feet, he said he did not wish to ask the witness any more questions. A negro came before a justice of the peace and signed a pledge, promising to give up the use of all intoxicating liquors. Ten days afterwards the Judge met him, and, greatly to his astonishment, found him a good deal under the influence of liquor. "Why, Erasmus," cried the Judge, " God bless me! how is this, and after your solemn affidavit too? You have broken your oath, Erasmus."