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SOME MISSOURI "YARNS." By Hon. William A. Wood. II. MANY years ago, when nearly all the western half of Missouri was in one circuit, old Judge C was the first judge of it, holding the office several years. Sam , just admitted to the bar, had located at the county town where the old judge re sided, and to get acquainted, started with him on his annual tour over the circuit. Sam was a fine " toddy " mixer; and the old judge, who was fond of it, soon became correspond ingly fond of Sam. They arrived one Sunday at a county-seat, and the judge asked Sam to room with him, which invitation he gladly accepted. Sam was courting the judge's daughter, a fact of which the judge was un aware; and on their first night's rooming to gether the judge spent several hours writing a charge that he intended to read to the grand jury next day, while Sam put in the time writing a letter to his girl, which he wanted to close with a nice original verse of poetry. The judge generally drank about a quart of " brandy toddy " on going to bed, and finishing his work, asked Sain to go and prepare it. Sam told him he was trying to indite a little poem to a young lady friend, but could only get one couplet to suit him. "Read it, Sam," said the judge. Sam blushingly read, — "She has red rosy cheeks And dark rolling eyes —" "Pshaw, Sam! " said the judge; " you go on and make that toddy. I 'll finish your poem. I used to write lots of it when I was young; most good lawyers write poetry when young." Sam went down to the bar-room, and spent extra time on the toddy. On his return he found the old judge had gone to sleep after writing the following couplet, —-

"A foot like a bacon ham, And about the same size." Sam, although he afterward married the young lady and became a great lawyer and politician, did not send her the poem her father kindly helped him to write. A resident of Nebraska a few years since sent his application for admission to the bar to the circuit clerk at K, a little countyseat in Missouri far from any railroad, pre sumably thinking he would get an easy ex amination. When the court convened he was on hand the first day, and a committee appointed to examine him. He was an un couth specimen, endowed with an unlimited amount of " cheek," but did not get the sort of committee for that to qualify him for the bar. The examination disclosed the fact that he was non-resident the State, and failed to disclose even slight legal learning on his part; so the committee refused to recommend his admission, and his application was denied by Judge D . He was examined out of court in the evening, and came into court the next morning to learn the result. He stood at the railing of the bar, hat in hand, and inquired of the court what he had done with his application. Judge D informed him that he could not be admitted, and kindlyadvised him to study longer and try for ad mission where he resided. The disappointed applicant looked at the judge, cast a criti cal glance over the members of the bar sitting inside the railing, and said, " Well, Jedge, from the looks of you fellers I must be the first one that ever failed to git admit ted in this court." He was allowed to de part for Nebraska in peace. Judge D, one of Missouri's most emi nent circuit judges, and Colonel G . a very