Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 04.pdf/102

 85 Early in the seventies, just before Judge C of Missouri retired from the bench, Colonel , a very ostentatious lawyer, afterwards a Missouri Congressman, was try ing a case to a jury, Judge C presiding. Colonel objected to the admission of certain evidence; but Judge C, refusing to allow him to argue the question in .the presence of the jury, overruled his objection. Colonel , who is a very large, tall man, rose to his full height, assumed an air of injured dignity, and said, — "Your honor, I want to know if after practising at the bar for nearly a quarter of a century I am a jackass." The court mildly surveyed the angry bar rister over his iron-rimmed spectacles, and replied, — "Mr., that is a question of fact for the jury; the court will not pass on it. Take your seat, sir." The late Judge L of St. Louis, a pro found lawyer, was particular to eccentricity in the care of his splendid library. An emi nent attorney residing in a country district re cently related to me an anecdote of his pecu liarity in this respect. The attorney wanted to use a certain text-book in a case on trial in a county-seat not far from St. Louis. Not having time to get it from the publishers, and knowing that Judge L had a copy, he telegraphed him for the loan of it. The book came promptly by express, and with it a printed slip, the price of the book filled in with a pen, reading about as follows : " This book cost me $—. Do not damage it, or break or turn down the corners of leaves, or mark same; if you do, keep the book and remit me the price stated." The attorney read the slip, left it on his desk, and car ried the book to the court-room where he was engaged in the trial. During the progress of the trial opposing counsel got hold of the book, and marked and turned down the cor ners of several leaves where he desired to refer in his argument. After the case was through, the attorney who borrowed the book,

forgetting the injunction of Judge L 's slip, returned it to him. In a few days he was surprised to again receive the volume by ex press, together with a letter from Judge L .saying : " You have marked and turned down several leaves in the book I loaned you; keep it and send me the publisher's price, which is $—." The attorney kept the vol ume, remitted Judge L its price, and tells his experience as a lesson to members of the bar who carelessly mark and mar law-books. The following is supposed to be a joke manufactured by one Supreme Judge at the expense of another; but I am told there is no real foundation for the " yarn." Some years ago old Bill lived in Jef ferson City, and made a precarious living by trading horses, and playing an occasional game of " sledge " with a railroad or steam boat hand. One of the Associate Justices of the Su preme Court, a dignified six-footer, kept bachelor lodgings near the Capitol grounds. Old Bill, on some tryst or other, was seen late at night on two or three occasions near these lodgings apparently waiting for some one. The Associate Justice spied him, and the unaccountable notion seized him that Bill was waiting around to do him harm. He astonished his associates, who consid ered him a brave man, by telling them of his fears. The Chief-Justice was a small man, with twinkling black eyes, and very fond of a joke. Late one evening he met Bill, and the idea struck him of having some fun at the expense of his big associate; so he said to Bill, — "Bill, you trade horses some. Judge wants a good saddle-horse, gentle but pretty brisk. Do you know of one that will suit him?" "I think I do," said Bill, willing to make a few dollars by the trade. "Well," said the Chief-Justice, " let 's go over to his rooms and see him." When they reached the Associate Jus tice's lodging, which was on a ground-floor,