Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 02.pdf/498

Rh mugs of flip were passing away without a groan, when who should come in but a rough, gaunt-looking babe of the woods, knapsack on shoulder and staff in hand. He looked cold, and half perambulated the circle that hemmed in the fire, looking for a chance to warm his shins. Nobody moved, however; and unable to sit down, for lack of a chair, he did the next best thing,—leaned against the wall, and listened to the discussion on the proper way of serving a referee on a war rant deed, as if he were the judge to decide the matter. Soon he attracted the attention of the company, and a young sprig spoke to him,—

"You look like a traveller."

"Wall, I s'pose I am; I came from Wisconsin afoot, 't any rate."

"From Wisconsin!—that is a distance to go on one pair of legs! I say, did you ever pass through the lower regions in your travels?"

"Yes, sir," he answered, a kind of wicked look stealing over his ugly phiz, "I've ben through the outskirts."

"I thought it likely. Well, what are the manners and customs there? Some of us would like to know."

"Oh," said the pilgrim, deliberately, half shutting his eyes, and drawing round the corner of his mouth till two rows of yellow teeth, with a mass of masticated pig-tail, appeared through the slit in his cheek, "you'll find them much the same as in this region,—the lawyers sit nighest the fire."

time ago the dockets of the various justices were sent for by the grand jury, to undergo the usual annual examination.

Among the number was one which gave the inquisitors very little trouble, but afforded considerable mirth. It recorded the cases disposed of by one of the colored magistrates from the rural "deestricts."

The office had not been burdened with much litigation, the docket recording only three cases, and they were all marriage cases.

The faithful justice thought the docket was supposed to record all the business he transacted; and when he was called on to unite in matrimony Bill Jones and Sylvia Johnson, he made the entry on his docket as follows: "Bill Jones v. Sylvia Johnson; officer, J. P.; judgment, married. Costs paid by plaintiff;" and the docket was marked "satisfied" and signed by the groom.

The other two "cases" were similarly entered; and the justice sent the docket to the grand jury, with the proud consciousness of having done the correct thing.—Memphis Avalanche.

, in the Calcutta High Court, recently delivered what is understood to be the shortest summing-up on record. It was as follows: "Gentlemen of the jury, the prisoner has nothing to say, and I have nothing to say. What have you got to say?"

a trial at Auburn, N. Y., the counsel for the prosecution, after severely cross-examining a witness, suddenly put on a look of severity, and said,—

"Mr. Witness, has not an effort been made to induce you to tell a different story?"

"A different story from what I have told."

"That is what I mean."

"Yes, sir, several persons have tried to get me to tell a different story from what I have told, but they could n't."

"Now, sir, upon your oath, I wish to know who those people are."

"Well, I guess you've tried as hard as any of them."

a lady giving evidence in a Kansas court refused to answer a question on the plea that it was not fit to tell decent people, her questioner blandly said: "Well, then, step up and whisper it to the judge."

in which a man was being tried for murder, when the clerk repeated the formula, "Prisoner, look upon the jurors; jurors, look upon the prisoner," one of the "sworn twelve," who was a very stupid man, looked solemnly at the prisoner for a while, and then said, " I think he's guilty; he looks like a murderer."

issue discussed in the jury-room is not always germane to the question committed to the intelligent twelve men for decision.

An ex-judge in New Hampshire relates that after a long trial a case had been given to the