Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 02.pdf/226

 Mrs. Dr. Butchers Birds. She "oh'd for wings" to such a large amount That Freestone would not lengthen her account. The birds were charged to Mrs. Dr. Butcher, With little thought of trouble in the future; But the bird-seller might congratulate Herself that from her separate estate She got two hundred pounds of thousand due, Then for the balance did the Doctor sue. The Doctor thereupon in due form pleaded That such dear luxuries she had not needed : They did not furnish eggs, nor quills for sonnets, Nor even feathers for her showy bonnets; In short, an aviary for his wife Was not essential to a cultured life. The Doctor sold some birds, upon advice, And wrote a dunning letter for the price; But on the trial there was evidence, That burdened with the family expense, The good man once, among his other prayers, Had prayed the court of chancer}' his affairs Pecuniarily to mitigate With an allowance from his child's estate. The barons thought, as he had sworn to this, That Madam's avadavats were amiss; That cardinals and bishop-birds are not In keeping with a humble curate's lot, And that a hen-house or a duck-pond would Yield more " for human nature's daily food." Chief- Baron Abinger much loved to vex The tender feelings of the gentle sex, As witness Ironmonger versus Lane, And Atkins versus Curwood (Carr. & Payne); (He in the latter case with manner rough Cried, "Let the wedding dresses be struck off!") He said this wife had purchased to excess, For one whose husband was in such distress, And spoke — perhaps his usual drink at luncheons — "Of sugar and of rum, five hundred puncheons," As most excessive for a married woman; But I do not believe him so inhuman As, granting so much rum, to intimate The sugar would n't be appropriate.

20 1