Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 01.pdf/321

282 They stubbed their toes in his tomatoes,
 * Disturbed his pease, tossed beans around;

They disinterred his new potatoes,
 * And deep cucumbered all the ground;

His succulent and tender squashes
 * They squashed with coarse, unfeeling boots,

And with their clumsy, huge galoches
 * They trampled all his savory roots.

They caught the car, and Guille delivered,
 * Almost defunct and deadly pale;

But Swan's poor garden-patch was shivered
 * Like Eden by the serpent's trail.

The plaintiff for this strange infraction
 * Demanded—which Guille disallowed—

Some fifteen dollars for Guille's action
 * And seventy dollars for the crowd.

Guille pleaded an aversion rooted
 * To paying such a bill for roots,

And claimed that Swan should be nonsuited
 * For joining inconsistent suits.

The judges held the consequences
 * Might naturally have been inferred,

Should it appear the evidence is
 * That no request had been preferred;

It was as if he'd sharply beckoned
 * Unto that curious, gaping throng,

Although of course he had not reckoned
 * On such a vegetable wrong;

But here there was an invitation
 * Expressly given to the crowd

By Guille, when in his desperation
 * He shrieked for succor, long and loud.

So Guille departed sore in feeling,
 * Forced to "come down" he was once more;

And ne'er again was seen revealing
 * His favorite tendency to soar.

For parachutes the courts care little,
 * Balloonatics no rights enjoy;

But they will not abate a tittle
 * 'Gainst those who garden-shoots destroy.