Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 01.pdf/274

Rh Their policies in print professed
 * How deeply they were smitten

With a fraternal interest
 * For all their underwritten;

They hounded Williams up and down
 * To take a trifling risk,

At every point about the town
 * He met their agent brisk:

"Some night would come a fire immense,
 * And uninsured he'd rue it,

And if he minded the expense
 * They would pay him to do it."

And so they gave assurance sound
 * Against all loss by fire

On goods of plaintiff they were bound
 * Till twelve months should expire.

But if he "stored" petroleum,
 * They cunningly provide

He'd forfeit all the premium
 * And lose his claim beside.

Now, when the Civil War broke out,
 * Like a good man and true,

Williams did not stay home and spout,
 * But donned the sacred blue.

He fought until a rebel wound
 * Subdued his zeal spontaneous,

And sent him from the battle-ground
 * With a disease cutaneous.

And when by scratching he was flayed,
 * By frequent imposition

Of crude petroleum he allayed
 * The heat of his condition.

A little of this stuff he'd keep,
 * But not enough to hurt,

And when at night he couldn't sleep
 * He'd saturate his shirt.

One night an accidental fire
 * His house and goods did spoil,

But unless Sickels is a liar,
 * It spared both shirt and oil.