Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 01.pdf/258

Rh Sheridan was entering court one day, carrying his books and briefs in a "green bag" according to the custom of the time, some of his brother barristers, thinking to play a joke on him, urged some boys to ask him if lie had old clothes for sale in his green bag.

"Oh, no!" instantly replied Sheridan; "they are all new suits."

the recess of the first day of term, after a large number of inquests and defaults had been taken because a number of attorneys failed to answer when called, Mr. X and Judge Y were talking together in the corridor as Counsellor Z passed.

"Here, Z," said the first, " we were just speaking of you."

"Yes," added the judge, with a twinkle in his eye; "and you must excuse me for being reminded of the old saying, 'Speak of the devil and he is sure to appear.

"No, your Honor," promptly replied, the counsellor, "that rule does not prevail at this bar; if it did, very few defaults or inquests would ever be taken."

who prided himself upon his skill in cross-examining a witness, had once an odd-looking genius upon whom to operate.

"You say, sir, that the prisoner is a thief?"

"Yes, sir, because she confessed it."

"And you also swear that she bound shoes for you subsequent to the confession?"

"I do, sir."

"Then," giving a sagacious look to the court, "are we to understand that you employ dishonest persons to work for you, even after their rascalities are known?"

"Of course; how else, pray, could I get assistance from a lawyer?"

The witness was peremptorily ordered to "stand down."

once took place among the members of the court of a neighboring State, as to how long they should set to dispose of the business before them. Three weeks were at last determined on. "Why, in the name of wonder," inquired a wag at the bar, "do they not set four weeks, like other geese?"

"," said somebody to Jekyll, "that our friend Smith the attorney is dead, and leaves very few effects."

"It could scarcely be otherwise," returned Jekyll; "he had so very few causes."

", all I ask for is common-sense!" exclaimed an excited barrister, during a closely contested case.

"Yes, that is precisely what you need," retorted the opposing counsel.

celebrated his elevation to the office of magistrate at the Greenwich Police Court by a characteristic pun. A gentleman came before him to prefer a charge of robbery with violence, committed in the middle of the night. In stating his case he mentioned that the assault occurred while he was returning home from an evening party. The worthy magistrate interrupted him by observing, "Really, sir, I cannot make up my mind to accept anything like an ex parte statement."

, on hearing one day that a member of the bar who was known to have an insatiable appetite had actually eaten away his senses, observed, "Pooh! they would not have made a mouthful for him!"

K, having made two or three mistakes while conducting a cause, petulantly exclaimed, "I seem to be inoculated with dulness to-day!"

"Inoculated, brother?" said Erskine; "I thought you had it in the natural way."

", sir," said an attorney, examining a medical expert, "how long, in your opinion, can a man live without brains?"

"Well," replied the witness, "that is a difficult question to answer; but if I knew your age, I could tell you exactly."

years ago, when the Maine Liquor Law was in full force in Vermont, Judge C of was on a journey. He stopped at a tavern in a cer-