Page:The Granite Monthly Volume 10.djvu/30

 20 A Jail Adventure.

strain on the other key was so much which wa}' I might, take the most

greater that the conclusion was not favorable view of the situation I could

clear. I could see and in some de- master, there was no dawn that fore-

gree understand what I was about, shadowed a bright future. I lay in

and yet there was an idea that there that bunk a broken-hearted man, a

was a somebody else in all that was wreck, a human being who thought

transpiring, for whom I entertained himself dead to this world, and who,

emotions of pity, but over whose in his disordered mind, was passing

movements and reckless deportment away from its trials. i)erplexities, and

I had no control. Sometimes the disappointments,

thought would be clear that it was ^-A little later and these \\g\y im-

myself, and then there would be a aginings passed away, and great hap-

feeling of shame that my wits were piness came to me. I laughed at the

not strong enough to subdue my body sufferings and remorse of the hours I

and control my tongue. On the other had spent in tlie dungeon's gloom,

hand, running counter and distinct, They were but the flimsy fabric of a

as I have already stated, was unrea- dyspeptic dream, release from which

soning madness. caused a buoyancy of spirit in which

"A little later I became exhausted, bi'ight prospects were in the ascend-

laydown and immediately fell asleep, ency, and hope everywhere renewed.

It was a troubled sleep, for I looked I saw mvself surrounded by my old

into the prison ' at the other end of friends ; there was warmth in their

the valley,' and lived the secluded greeting, and joy in every word that

and burdensome life of a convict. I was s[)oken. I beheld the beautiful

was fatigued from labor and suffered world, more beautiful now than it

for companionship. I longed with an ever appeared to me before. I was

aching heart for the cheer and smiles assured of success as a journa-list,

of the friends of other days, and the and my future seemed secure. Added

society of the young men and young to this was the new happiness which

women whom I had known and loved I beheld in my wife, and a knowledge

in the days of my freedom. I sighed that my report of the affair which I

for the free air of heaven ; I yearned had been assigned to write up had

for an hour among editors and print- reached my journal on time. In the

ers ; I envied the oflice devil ; and I midst of all, the managing editor had

wondered if any one of them would said my work was intelligently and

acknowledge that he ever knew me. satisfactorily performed, which to a

More particularly did I grieve because man of my desjionding mood was

of the disgrace my downfall would sufiicient ground for more of happi-

bi'ing ui)on the woman I had sworn ness than I could well express. I

to honor and cherish, the child born dreamed a good deal more ; and when

to us. and also upon my aged par- I awoke and realized that it was only

ents. a dream after all, I was more misera-

"• While in this condition of body ble, if that were possible, than I had

and mind I fancied that I could wel- been before, and had less control over

come death, for I somehow realized my mind in directing it to a successful

that it would end my suffering. Look resistance to gloomy forebodings.

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