Page:The Granite Monthly Volume 1.djvu/167

 DO I?

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��DO I?

��BY MAUD MULLEN.

��Do I pity you because I know you are impulsive? Most certainly I do, away down in the last 'corner of my poor sym- pathizing heart ! For I know how — have passed through the pleasant experience — " been through the mill," ground, pow- dered, pulverized and all, save the refin- ing process !

I know how you do things which af- terwards cause you hours of mental re- gret; how you say something for which you would pull out your own tongue as a penalty; how you cut up some "half- wit" for an insulting remark, and then hate yourself for stooping to reply ; how you go to the parish gathering, well pol- ished up with intentions of being quiet and lady-like, and then, in a moment when off your guard, you snap out an answer to your rector, making you blush with shame, and wish you had united with some other church where they had no superior members; how you go to prayer-meeting and "giggle" whenDea. Jones says he " can n't quite understand mys-tic-fied chapters of Revelations;" how you go to some social gathering, chat, laugh, sing, and have a general good time, and then go home, think over what you have said and done, inwardly wish you had never been born, go to bed, and toss all night in a sort of mild delir- ium tremens; how you fervently pray and secretly resolve to rid yourself of this ever-present tormentor, and every time you make renewed efforts, find yourself plunged into deeper water; — and then how you weep, and beg of the hills and mountains to crumble down upon and annihilate you !

Yes, I pity you, but your case is not a

��hopeless one. I believe there is no vice so great that now and then a little virtue won't peep out through the loopholes. The very element which to-day over- shadows you with a cloud of shame and regret, may to-morrow redeem you with its bright sunbeams of goodness. For instance, if you see an enemy drowning how soon you'll row your own life-boat out to his rescue, forgetting for the mo- ment how he has wronged you. If your neighbor, who has floated his colors far above your own, and failed to recognize your poor endeavors, lies sick and dying, how soon you are at his side administer- ing the soothing cordial, or, if need be, folding most tenderly the idle fingers above the silent breast — cancelling out the past, and remembering only the needs ot the present ! Or if a beggar comes to your door, telling her pitiful story and imploring assistance, how quickly you put your hand down deep into your pocket and take out the little gold treasure which you had saved to buy Kitty a wax doll. How you forget yourself and all your " fine clothes" when the demand comes for assistance in a poor family famishing for want of care, and with a disease contagious and fear- ful!

I gave you the shadows — now you have the sunshine. Don't despair ! While the stones of mistakes are being rolled away from your door the sunshine of forgiveness shall steal in at its opening; for He who sits in judgment, wielding His pen of justice, shall gather up the cloud of error, draping the heart anew with folds of peace and reconciliation !

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