Page:The Garden of Eden (Doughty).djvu/59

Rh of man, in view of the fact that freedom of choice was his, began to feel that he would a little rather not experience quite so great a dependence on the Lord. He said, as it were, "Oh, how I would like to experience this thing called life, as my own! How pleasant it would be to feel that I think, I will, I desire, I speak, I act, and not to be always so strongly conscious that it is a higher influence to which I am yielding. I feel now, that in all this love it is God's love in me, that in all this goodness and intelligence it is God's good and truth within me, notwithstanding the sensation that I think and do as of myself; how much better to carry the consciousness that I am loving, I am good, I am intelligent and wise."

The phrase, "to be alone," in most ancient times, was used to denote the most intimate union with the Lord. It was a consciousness of Him alone as the source of life, goodness and intelligence. It was a rendering to Him alone the meed of all good gifts. It was an abiding in Him alone as the only stay and rest in all the things of life. The first deviation consisted, it seems, in a slight discontent with that position, and in a desire to mingle self-consciousness in this respect with the higher consciousness. It would be no desire to deny the Lord as the Creator of life and the Giver of all good gifts, but a willingness to recognize that truth as a matter of faith, while the feeling 5*