Page:The Galaxy, Volume 5.djvu/400

388 his novel vessel. Whether or not the money he has thus invested will in the end prove to have been wisely expended, it is too early to say; the attempt was certainly a praiseworthy one, and in the right direction. But, pray, Mr. Winans, are you absolutely certain that we need another theological system?

American lady temporarily residing in Germany sends home a grievous complaint of a despotic custom of which she has been made the victim, and which will commend her to the sympathy of all—except the authors of dull discourses. Presuming somewhat too much upon an imperfect acquaintance with German, she ventured into a Lutheran church, where she was neither entertained nor instructed—in fact, was most grievously bored by a discourse which was both unintelligible and uninteresting. Withdrawing quietly with a companion, they were stopped short in the lobby by finding the outside door closed and fastened, and were compelled to submit, with several others in like predicament, to an involuntary imprisonment in a cold passage until the service was finally ended and the doors opened by the sexton from the outside. Subsequent inquiry revealed the fact that this particular church was so notorious for its dull sermons that it had been found necessary to adopt this peculiar form of moral suasion to retain the congregation until the benediction was reached. As the regular attendants were unquestionably aware of the custom, and could protect themselves against it by staying at home, it was without doubt intended to entrap unwary strangers of religious proclivities. We commend this outrage to the attention of Mr. Seward. Perhaps Mr. Banks will amend the bill he has offered to Congress so as to apply his system of retaliation for foreign outrages to cases of this sort. There are certainly Germans enough in this country to furnish two eligible victims for reprisals in this particular case, and it is not impossible that we have public speakers who could undertake to see that their punishment was ample. It might be even possible to inveigle two members of the German legation at Washington into the diplomatic gallery of the House of Representatives, and turn the key upon them while the question of reconstruction or of our finances was being debated.