Page:The Family Album.pdf/75



ES, our album is the finest in the village. It has steam flower decorations with filigree hinges and a melodeon in the back. It plays beautiful music when you wind it up, but the key was lost when grandpop threw it at Aunt Etta during one of our numerous family reconciliations.

That dent in the cover is where Aunt Etta threw it back at grandpop and struck one of the twins on the other twin's head.

Grandpop was kind of a slow man, but vindictive. He lived so far back in the woods that his wife had to make omelets out of owl eggs.

He was a very patriotic man and was exempted in every war since 1848. Only last week he came down out of the woods and shot two letter carriers. He thought they were Confederate soldiers.

Grandpop was a very peculiar man and hated everybody in the world. He used to have very queer names for people he didn't like. He called the village pastor a moopus one day because the pastor asked why he didn't come to services. The pas-