Page:The Enormous Room.pdf/236

Rh lieutenant giving commands, then he would be the Army executing them. He began with the manual of arms. "Com-pag-nie ..." then, as he went through the manual, holding his imaginary gun—"htt, htt, htt."—Then as the officer commending his troops:"Bon. Très bon. Très bien fait"—laughing with head thrown back and teeth aglitter at his own success. John le Baigneur was so tremendously amused that he gave up sleeping to watch. L'armée drew a crowd of admirers from every side. For at least three-quarters of an hour this game went on....

Another day Jean, being angry at the weather and having eaten a huge amount of soupe, began yelling at the top of his voice: "MERDE à la France" and laughing heartily. No one paying especial attention to him, he continued (happy in this new game with himself) for about fifteen minutes. Then The Trick Raincoat (that undersized specimen, clad in feminine-fitting raiment with flashy shoes, who was by trade a pimp, being about half Jean's height and a tenth of his physique,) strolled up to Jean—who had by this time got as far as my bed—and, sticking his sallow face as near Jean's as the neck could reach, said in a solemn voice: "II ne faut pas dire ça." Jean astounded, gazed at the intruder for a moment; then demanded: "Qui dit ça? Moi? Jean? Jamais, ja-MAIS. MERDE à la France!" nor would he yield a point, backed up as he was by the moral support of everyone present except the Raincoat—who found discretion the better part of valour and retired with a few dark threats; leaving Jean master of the situation and yelling for the Raincoat's particular delectation: "MAY-RRR-DE à la France!" more loudly than ever.

A little after the epic battle with stovepipes between The Young Pole and Bill The Hollander, the wrecked poêle (which was patiently waiting to be repaired) furnished Jean with perhaps his most brilliant inspiration. The final section of pipe (which conducted the smoke through a hole in the wall to the outer air) remained in place all by itself, projecting about six feet into the room at a height of seven or eight feet from the