Page:The English Peasant.djvu/349

 was still before me. I fell to the ground, and lay on my face, but could not shun the sight. I never before saw sin in such a light as I then did.

"The sight and sense of sin which I had in the sight of a slaughtered Saviour filled my soul with indignation against myself and my sin, and caused my bowels to sound with unutterable love, pity, and compassion towards my highly-injured God and Saviour. My murmuring was completely slain at once, and I cried out, 'Oh, I cannot bear it! Oh, send me to hell, to my own place, for I deserve it! I cannot, I will not complain. Oh, send me to hell! I did not know till now that I had been sinning against Thy wounds and blood! I did not know that Thou hadst suffered thus for wretched me! I did not know till now that I had any concern in crucifying Thee! I cannot beg mercy of my suffering Lord and Saviour. No; send me to hell, for I deserve it. Oh, I will never complain, for I know that my complaining would be unjust'

"The more I strove to avoid Him, the nearer He approached; the vision opened brighter and brighter, and the impression was made deeper upon my mind; and the more I condemned myself, and tried to creep into darkness from His sight, the more He smiled upon me, and the more He melted, renewed, and comforted my soul. When I found I could not shun Him nor shut out His dissolving beams, I arose from the ground and went into the garden. Here I found all my temptations were fled; my hard thoughts of God, and the dreadful ideas I had of Him in His righteous law, were dissipated; my sins, which had stood before me during so many months, with their ghastly and formidable appearance, had spread their wings and taken flight, as far from me as the east is from the west, so that no bird remained upon the sacrifice.

"Thus sin, Satan, death, destruction, horror, despair, unbelief, confusion, and distraction struck their flags, and were routed, vanquished, and slain, before the triumphant Redeemer's divine artillery, displayed from that wonderful armoury, the mystery of the cross, where God and sinners meet.