Page:The English Peasant.djvu/348

 Christ; do not you see how pitifully He speaks to sinners? "He goes on to say:—

"I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision, but went to my little tool-house to pray; yet I cannot remember that I had at that time any faith in the Saviour, or expectation of being heard or answered; to all appearance I was sunk too low for that. I rather thought this vision was to bring me to a final end. Therefore I trembled in myself, and was almost desperate, fearing that I should shortly sink under that awful line of dreadful threatenings and curses.

"When I came into my little tool-house, to the best of my remembrance I did as I usually had done; that is, I pulled off my blue apron, and covered my head and face with it; for I was like the poor publican, I could not even look up to God; I was afraid He would damn me if I offered to do it.

"I kneeled down and began to pray extempore, in the language of one desperate, precisely thus:—'O Lord, I am a sinner, and Thou knowest it. I have tried to make myself better, but cannot. If there is any way left in which Thou canst save me, do Thou save me; if not, I must be damned, for I cannot try any more, nor will not.'

"The very moment the last sentence had dropped from my lips, the spirit of grace and of supplication was poured into my soul; and I forthwith spake as the Spirit gave me utterance. I immediately prayed with such energy, eloquence, fluency, boldness, and familiarity as quite astonished me; as much as though I should now speak Arabic, a language that I never learned a syllable of. And the blessed Spirit of God poured the sweet promises into my heart from all parts of the Scriptures in a powerful manner, and helped my infirmities greatly by furnishing my faltering tongue with words to plead prevalently with God.

"It came to pass that, after I had been wrestling in this manner for about the space of a quarter of an hour, behold, Jesus Christ appeared to me in a most glorious and conspicuous manner, with all His body stained with blood! He appeared in His aspect as one greatly dishonoured and much abused, and yet inclined to pity me. I turned my eyes from Him, but He pursued me, and