Page:The Elizabethan stage (Volume 4).pdf/221

 Doggs, which haue barked at mee for writinge the Schoole of Abuse It is not long since, a friend of mine presented me with straunge newes out of Affrick [in margin, 'A Libell cast out against the Schoole of Abuse'] requesting me earnestly to shape them an answere I unfolded the Paper, and found nothing within but guttes and garbage And had not the writer himself, which sent these newes into England, reuealed his name to some of his friends by whom I hearde it, I would haue iudged such a Daw to bee hacht in Barbary, and the tydinges that came, to be scribled in post This Doctour of Affrike with a straunge kinde of style begins to write thus: To his frinds the Plaiers If Players get no better Atturnie to pleade their case, I will holde mee contented where the Haruest is harde, too take Otes of yl debters in parte of payment I intende not to aunswere him An Apologie of the Schoole of Abuse Such is the skirmishe of our players, who perceiuing the truthe to stand on my side as an armour of proofe; and finding them selues vnappointed for the fielde, keepe a farre off, biting me in corners, casting out libels which are but clay, and rattle on mine armour, or tippe me on the shinnes, without farther hurt If plaiers take a little more counsel of their pillowe, they shall finde them selues to be the worste and the daungerousest people in the world If Diogenes were nowe aliue, to see the abuses that growe by playes, I beleeue hee would wyshe rather to bee a Londoners hounde than his apprentice, bicause hee rateth his dogge, for wallowing in carrion; but rebukes not his seruaunt for resorting to playes, that are ranke poyson We perceiue not that players counterfaiting a shewe to make vs merry, shoote their nettes to worke our misery; that when Comedie comes vpon the stage, Cupide sets vpp a Springe for Wood-*cockes, which are entangled ere they descrie the line, and caught before they mistruste the snare Our players, since I set out the Schole of abuse, haue trauailed to some of mine acquaintance of both Vniuersities, with fayre profers, and greater promises of rewardes, yf they woulde take so much paine as too write agaynst mee When neither of both Vniuersities would heare their plea, they were driuen to flie to a weake hedge, and fight for themselues with a rotten stake It is tolde mee that they haue got one in London to write certaine Honest Excuses, for so they tearme it, to their dishonest abuses which I reuealed How he frames his excuses, I knowe not yet, because it is doone in hudder mudder. Trueth can neuer be Falsehods Visarde, which maketh him maske without a torche and keepe his papers very secret If the Excuser be the man that is named to me, he is as famous a Clarke as Clauitius Sabinus, which was so troubled with a grosse conceite, and as short a memory, that euery minute he forgote the names of Vlisses, Achilles, Priamus, and such as he knew as well as the Begger his dishe I was determined to send you greater matters, touching the saleable toung of Curio, but I stay my handes till I see his booke, when I haue perusd it I will tel you more.