Page:The Dunciad - Alexander Pope (1743).djvu/41

x as another, whether his author was fair or brown, short or tall, or whether he wore a coat or a cassock.

We purposed to begin with his Life, Parentage, and Education: But as to these, even his cotemporaries do exceedingly differ. One saith, he was educated at home; another, that he was bred at St. Omer's by Jesuits; a third , not at St. Omer's, but at Oxford; a fourth , that he had no University education at all. Those who allow him to be bred at home, differ as much concerning his Tutor: One saith, he was kept by his father on purpose; a second , that he was an itinerant priest; a third , that he was a parson; one calleth him a secular clergyman of the Church of Rome; another , a monk. As little do they agree about his Father, whom one supposeth, like the Father of Hesiod, a tradesman or merchant; another, a husbandman; another , a hatter, &c. Nor has an author been wanting to give our Poet such a father as Apuleius hath to Plato, Jamblicus to Pythagoras, and divers to Homer, namely a Dæmon: For thus Mr. Gildon : "Certain it is, that his original is not from Adam, but the Devil; and that he wanteth nothing but horns and tail to be the exact resemblance of his infernal Father." Finding, therefore, such contrariety of opinions, and (whatever be ours of this sort of generation) not being fond to enter into controversy, we shall defer writing the life of our Poet, 'till authors can determine among themselves what Parents or Education he had, or whether he had any Education or Parents at all.

Proceed we to what is more certain, his Works, tho' not less uncertain the judgments concerning them; beginning with his on, of which hear first the most ancient of Critics,

"His precepts are false or trivial, or both; his thoughts are crude and abortive, his expressions absurd, his numbers harsh and unmusical, his rhymes trivial and common;—instead of majesty, we have something that is very mean; instead of gravity, something that is very boyish;