Page:The Dunciad - Alexander Pope (1743).djvu/259

Rh much greater Genius's might arise in his time. A noble instance, how much the charity of our monarchs hath exceeded their love of fame.

To come now to the intent of this paper. We have here the whole ancient ceremonial of the Laureate. In the first place the crown is to be mix'd with vine-leaves, as the vine is the plant of Bacchus, and full as essential to the honour, as the butt of sack to the salary.

Secondly, the brassica must be made use of as a qualifier of the former. It seems the cabbage was anciently accounted a remedy for drunkenness; a power the French now ascribe to the onion, and style a soupe made of it, soupe d'Yvrange. I would recommend a large mixture of the brassica if Mr. Dennis be chosen; but if Mr. Tibbald, it is not so necessary, unless the cabbage be supposed to signify the same thing with respect to poets as to taylors, viz. stealing. I should judge it not amiss to add another plant to this garland, to wit, ivy: Not only as it anciently belonged to poets in general; but as it is emblematical of the three virtues of a court poet in particular; it is creeping, dirty, and dangling.

In the next place, a canticle must be composed and sung in laud and praise of the new poet. If Mr. be laureated, it is my opinion, no man can write this but himself: And no man, I am sure, can song it so affectingly. But what this canticle should be, either in his or the other candidates case, I shall not pretend to determine.

Thirdly, there ought to be a public show, or entry of the poet: To settle the order or procession of which, Mr. Anstis and Mr. ought to have a conference. I apprehend here two difficulties: One, of procuring an elephant; the other of teach ing the poet to ride him: Therefore I should imagine the next animal in size or dignity would do best; either a mule or a large ass; particularly if that noble one could be had, whose portraiture makes so great an ornament of the Dunciad, and which (unless I am misinform'd) is yet in the park of a nobleman near this city:Unless Mr. be the man; who may, with great propriety and beauty, ride on a dragon, if he goes by land; or if he chuse the water, upon one of his own swans from Cæsar in Egypt.

We have spoken sufficiently of the ceremony; let us now speak of the qualifications and privileges of the Laureate. First, we see he must be able to make verses extempore, and to pour forth innumerable, if requir'd. In this I doubt Mr. . Secondly, he ought to sing, and intrepidly, patulo ore: Here, I confess the excellency of Mr. . Thirdly, he ought to carry a lyre about with him: If a large one be thought too cumbersome, a small one may be contrived to hang about the neck, like an order, and be very much a grace to the person. Fourthly, he ought to have a good stomach, to eat and drink whatever his betters think fit; and therefore it is in this high office as in many others, no puny constitution can discharge it. I do not think or  here so happy: but rather a stanch, vigorous, season'd, and dry old gentleman, whom I have in my eye.