Page:The Complete Works of Lyof N. Tolstoi - 11 (Crowell, 1899).djvu/586



OD is for me what I strive for—what as I strive for it constitutes my life, and therefore for me He is; but He is necessarily such that I cannot comprehend or name Him.

If I understood Him, I should have reached Him, and there would be nothing to strive after and there would be no life. But, and this seems a contradiction, though I cannot understand or name Him, yet at the same time I know Him and the direction toward Him, and even of all my knowledge this is the most certain.

I do not comprehend Him, yet at the same time I am always anxious when I am without Him, and only when I am with Him am I not anxious. What is stranger still is that to know Him more and better than I do at present is not my desire now in this present life, neither is it necessary. I can draw nearer to Him, and I wish